Turkeys Urge Americans Not To Travel For Thanksgiving

 


UNITED STATES —— Turkeys across the United States have warned Americans of the extreme dangers of traveling for Thanksgiving this year.

“Don’t risk your health or that of your family members unnecessarily by flying or even road tripping this year,” said the president of the Association Of Turkeys For The Abolition Of Thanksgiving, Gobble Dee, in a statement.

“The risks this year are just too great to so much as cross town to have dinner with friends or family,” said Dee, advising people to be thankful “in your hearts” but lay off trying to gather around the traditional Thanksgiving table.

As a Thanksgiving substitute, Dee suggested sitting down with a cold packet of Tofurky and calling it a day.

 


SPONSORED LINKS

You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.

.

(Visited 124 times, 1 visits today)

One comment

  1. Richard Mills

    I can remember when I must have eaten a piece of Gobble Dee’s relative many years ago. It was a turkey leg on a wooden peg. Made by Worthington Foods. Yummy Yummy. It was very good for my tummy. Since they do not make that stuff anymore, I go for the tofu variety. Not so yummy yummy.

Leave a Reply to Richard Mills Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *