20 in 20 Pathfinders don’t know what “keep a level eye” means

None of these Pathfinders have any idea what it means to “keep a level eye.”
SILVER SPRING, Md. — World Pathfinder leaders are raising the alarm following the results of an international survey of Pathfinders. “Absolutely nobody knows what it means to “keep a level eye,” said World Pathfinder Director Tim Nix, referencing the well-known phrase from the Pathfinder Law.

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When asked to explain the phrase, Pathfinders from Maine to Malawi “took wildly creative stabs at explaining it,” said Nix. “We got answers ranging from the importance of good eye contact to the futility of bringing contact lenses to camporees.”

Nix said that after traveling the globe and systematically testing 20 Pathfinders per country on their understanding of the Pathfinder Law, the consistent result was complete ignorance. “Twenty in twenty Pathfinders don’t have the foggiest clue what they are reciting,” reported Nix.

Leaders are unsure how to proceed. “We’ve essentially reached the point where at least part of the Pathfinder law has taken the form of vain repetitions that scripture expressly warns us against,” said Nix.

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“Outdated terminology is a huge problem in Adventism,” claimed the Pathfinder leader. “As our Pathfinders have demonstrated, not even we ourselves know what we are talking about at times.”

Nix has vowed to put together an advisory committee to draft up an updated version of the Pathfinder Pledge and Law. “I’ll be appointing committee members as soon as I myself have confirmed the meaning of ‘keep a level eye.'”


  1. Jim E. Carter

    Sevvy, please pass along my thoughts to Mr. Tim Nix: it isn’t that hard to understand “keep a level eye.” It was explained recently in comments on your story about Coachella:

    I heard a rumor that the Personal Ministries Department is planning a special evangelism project in July, where all the male delegates of the General Conference Session will be encouraged to evangelize the gentleman’s clubs of San Antonio after the meetings each night, by wearing GC-issued T-shirts and handing out water bottles to the lovely ladies. (The men will also be admonished to “keep a level eye.”) Already, $52,573 has been raised to defray the cover charges for the men. Event organizer Mary Lynn Monroe reported an unusually enthusiastic response from pre-registrants. “I hope we turn the city upside down. I’ve never seen men so eager to participate in evangelism,” she gushed. “We must be doing something right.”

  2. So that means the Pathfinder girls can ogle all they want at the male counsellors? (At least the ones who deserve an ogle….). Dang who knew. I wasted my time trying to keep a level eye. No wonder I never learned to march.

    • Allison Swistock

      It depends where you were ogling. To “keep a level eye” means you can ogle all you want, but only from the neck up. (Same rule applies to boys and girls.) Sort of like Henry Ford’s policy: “Customers can have any color of Model T that they want, as long as what they want is black.”

  3. Richard Mills

    While you are at it, please ‘splain, “Walk softly in the Sanctuary” means. Ain’t ever seen a Pathfinder walk softly in the Sanctuary, especially when the drum corps is in town. Then they do march to a different drummer!! Now, Woe is me!

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