Tuesday, May 12, 2026
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#NotSatire

Is God Convinced When We Call Ourselves the Remnant?

Adventists have used that word for generations. The remnant. The faithful few. The people with “the truth.” And while there’s something inspiring about believing God has called us for...
#NotSatire

Who feels most uncomfortable in our churches—and why?

  Be honest. If your family’s been Adventist for generations, there’s a quiet assumption that creeps in: we’ve been here the longest, so we belong the most. Like faith came...
#NotSatire

Why I Love Toddler Group

I’m pretty involved in my local church, but if I’m honest, my favorite ministry doesn’t happen on Sabbath. It happens at 10:00 a.m. on Fridays—during toddler group. About 100 people show up...
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Are You a Homeless Adventist?

Not doctrinally. Not officially. Just… practically. You believe the message. You’re not trying to leave. But somewhere between the edges, you stopped feeling like you fully...
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The Hymnal Knew Things Contemporary Worship Forgot

There’s a theological argument buried in the index of the Seventh-day Adventist Hymnal that contemporary worship music never bothered to have. Not because the old...
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Local Adventist Agrees With Pope, Deeply Uncomfortable About It

Man unsure whether to share article or burn phone COLLEGEDALE, TN — Area Seventh-day Adventist and longtime prophecy chart enthusiast Gerald Finster, 58, confirmed Tuesday...
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Silver Spring Is Not Heaven. Fortunately, That’s Not the Point.

If you’ve spent any time watching the General Conference operate, you’ve probably had the thought. The politics. The procedural delays. The votes that feel like...

Adventist Culture

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Ellen Was a Sick Teenage Girl Who Changed the World. Don’t Underestimate What You Have.

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She was nine years old when a rock hit...

You Are Not a Backslider. You Are a Human Being Having a Hard Time.

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  We have a word for people who are struggling. We...

Here’s Why the Mormons Are Way Richer Than Us

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It’s not magic—it’s culture, structure, and theology. Members of...

Local Adventist Discovers Caring for the Poor Is Not a Liberal Conspiracy—But Actually, Like… Half the Bible

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SPRINGFIELD, USA — In a shocking turn of events...

Adventist Food

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Potluck Will Save The Church

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Theologians have failed us. The GC has (frequently) failed...

5 Polite Ways to Tell the Global Majority That the Adults Are Still Talking

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  A resource for institutions navigating the awkward gap between...

Breaking the Cycle of Adventist Blackmail

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In Adventist circles, everyone knows everyone else’s business—and sometimes...

We’re Not a Cult… We’re Just Theologically Spicy

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The cult label gets thrown at Adventists because we’re...

Sabbath Observance

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Which Sins Get Adventists Judged—and Which Get Them Promoted?

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In Adventist circles, we all know that not all...

Sometimes I Feel Like I Need a Sabbath from the Sabbath

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  I love my church. I’m all in. I want...

Trying to Preserve Adventism Is Ensuring Its Demise

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Much of our energy today is spent worrying about...

Do Adventist schools have to have Adventist teachers?

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My daughter goes to what I can honestly say...

BarelyAdventist is a satire and humor blog focused on Adventist culture and issues. Written by committed Adventists, the goal is to foster growth within the faith community through lighthearted conversation and humor, avoiding soapboxing or angry rants. The blog is not officially endorsed by the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists.

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