Tuesday, November 3, 2026
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Satire: Sabbath School Class Reaches Actual Lesson With Four Minutes to Spare

ANYWHERE, U.S.A. A local Sabbath School class made history this week by reaching the actual lesson with four full minutes to spare, members confirmed. The morning began as usual with...
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Satire: Local Man Reserves Entire Pew Using One Hymnal, Two Jackets and a Strategically Placed Bible

SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDWEST. A longtime member arrived 45 minutes before Sabbath School this week and successfully claimed an entire pew using one hymnal, two jackets, a bulletin folded...
#NotSatire

What Happens When You Grow Up in a Community That Believes in a Better World

Adventist kids learn early that the story is going to end well. We heard it before we could explain it. Jesus is coming back, and He will make this tired earth new....
#NotSatire

What Would Adventism Look Like If Grace Were the Starting Point?

Many of us were taught to earn a welcome God had already given. We learned the rules early, from Sabbath hours to what belonged on...
#NotSatire

Why Does the Church Sometimes Treat Criticism as Betrayal?

Some of us learned early that the fastest way to lose friends at church was to ask a hard question out loud. We say we...
#NotSatire

Should More Adventists Go Into Politics?

For a people who expect to stand before kings, we spend very little time running for office. Our hesitation makes sense. Adventists have long believed...
#NotSatire

Do We Really Choose Our Religion, or Are We Given One at Birth?

Most of us did not pick our church. We were carried into it. We learned the memory verses before we could read them. We knew...

Adventist Culture

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How Many of Ellen White’s Predictions Came True?

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Ask ten Adventists how many of Ellen White's predictions...

“Not at all religiously inclined”: Ellen White’s Rebel Son

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"Not at all religiously inclined." That is how Ellen White's...

Adventists Should Not Panic When People Leave the Church

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I understand the panic. But panicking and freaking out...

Is It a Sin to Cook on Sabbath?

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Every Adventist kitchen knows the Friday afternoon panic. The...

Adventist Food

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Does Public Evangelism Do More Harm Than Good?

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You know the format. There's a big tent or...

Why Doesn’t More of Our Budget Go Into Adventist Education?

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I was listening to an Adventist friend talk about...

Shouldn’t I Be Richer by Now?

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I'm a millennial, and my generation keeps hearing, in...

We Don’t Need to Be Anxious Adventists

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Anxiety seems to be at a record high. In...

Sabbath Observance

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10 Reasons Adventist Pastors Quit

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Most members never see the quiet kitchen-table moment when...

Are You a Homeless Adventist?

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Not on paper. Not in doctrine. Just in daily...

Can an Adventist Be Fully Honest About Church History and Still Belong?

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Some of us were handed a church history with...

The Church We Could Build If We Started With the People Who Feel Left Out

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Most Adventist churches were designed by people who never...

BarelyAdventist is a satire and humor blog focused on Adventist culture and issues. Written by committed Adventists, the goal is to foster growth within the faith community through lighthearted conversation and humor, avoiding soapboxing or angry rants. The blog is not officially endorsed by the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists.

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