Wednesday, April 8, 2026
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#NotSatire

Doubt Doesn’t Break Your Faith. Pretending Does.

Nobody leaves Adventism because they asked too many questions. They leave because they asked questions—and got silence, sidelong glances, and a Sabbath School quarterly that pretended the question didn’t exist. We...
#NotSatire

Prayer Is Not a Prescription. (God Made Therapists Too.)

Somewhere along the way we decided that struggling Christians just weren’t praying hard enough. Depression? More devotions.Anxiety? Claim the victory.Trauma? Have you tried fasting? We meant well. We also did damage. Adventists...
Uncategorized

Breaking the Cycle of Adventist Blackmail

In Adventist circles, everyone knows everyone else’s business—and sometimes that knowledge becomes power. Blackmail here isn’t mobsters in dark alleys; it’s gossip, selective judgment, and the quiet threat of “I could...
Peculiar People

We’re Not a Cult… We’re Just Theologically Spicy

The cult label gets thrown at Adventists because we’re different. Saturday worship. State of the dead. The investigative judgment. We get it — we’re...
Evangelism

Friendship Isn’t a Mission Field

When people talk about “friendship evangelism,” it often feels like they mean one-way outreach—befriending someone mainly to share your faith. Don’t get me wrong:...
Uncategorized

You Are Not a Prophet

  For decades, the Adventist Church has had people who feel it’s their personal duty to correct everyone else. Emails packed with Ellen White quotes....
Uncategorized

Superstitious Church leaders scrap 13th Sabbath tradition

SILVER SPRING, Md. --- In a dramatic shift for the Adventist church, world leaders have decided to discontinue the practice of holding special offerings...

Adventist Culture

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Is It Time to Say Goodbye to Ellen White?

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There’s a question that feels increasingly unavoidable in Adventism’s...

How Does Adventism Look Without Americans in Charge?

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Something quietly historic is happening in the Seventh-day Adventist...

How Should Adventists Feel About Muslims?

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Right now, Islam is everywhere in the news. With...

Pathfinders Might Be the Best Thing We’ve Ever Done

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For a surprising number of people who leave the...

Adventist Food

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If Your Theology Doesn’t Reduce Anxiety, People Will Find One That Does

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An anxious generation will not be discipled by a...

We’re Talking About the Wrong Things and it’s Costing Adventism its Future

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Every generation has its theological debates. That’s not new. Still,...

The Law Isn’t Legalism (Calm Down)

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These days, talking seriously about the Ten Commandments feels...

No, You Can’t Hasten the Second Coming

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Somewhere along the way, “sharing the gospel” turned into...

Sabbath Observance

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Local Adventist Discovers Caring for the Poor Is Not a Liberal Conspiracy—But Actually, Like… Half the Bible

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SPRINGFIELD, USA — In a shocking turn of events...

Adventists Should Go First

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Ellen G. White started a health reform movement when...

Potluck Will Save The Church

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Theologians have failed us. The GC has (frequently) failed...

5 Polite Ways to Tell the Global Majority That the Adults Are Still Talking

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  A resource for institutions navigating the awkward gap between...

BarelyAdventist is a satire and humor blog focused on Adventist culture and issues. Written by committed Adventists, the goal is to foster growth within the faith community through lighthearted conversation and humor, avoiding soapboxing or angry rants. The blog is not officially endorsed by the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists.

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