COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Doug Digger breathed a sigh of satisfaction from his ivory tower balcony today as he released what he called a “wrinkle-free” version of the Bible. In the run-up to the release, Read more […]
Collegedale, Tenn. — For the first time ever, US News and World Report has ranked schools in view of their ability to provide students with “a high chance of finding a vegetarian to marry.” US Read more […]
LONDON, United Kingdom – Britain’s Chancellor, Jeremy Hunt, warned today that virtually unprecedented inflation meant ADRA ingathering targets this year would need to be increased substantially. “Walking Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Fact-checking website Snopes is investigating baptismal numbers released by the General Conference after flagging them for what the site calls “suspiciously evangelistic Read more […]
We gotta know: Is volunteering worth the time unless you can let the whole world know what you are doing with an action shot of you saving the manatees/serving soup/tutoring with a #simplyservice? Without Read more […]
RED AMERICA – After a longed for mid-term red wave failed to materialize, Republican Adventists have likened the letdown to a “Second Great Disappointment.” “This red ripple is not at all the Read more […]
BREAKING NEWS: Legalists across the Adventist world were rushed to hospital today after sustaining panic attacks at the unwelcome report from leading denominational theologians that non-Adventists Read more […]
Church lobbies can be perilous places if you walk into them without a solid game plan. BarelyAdventist has compiled the following definitive list of people you merely murmur “Happy Sabbath” to while Read more […]
FONTAINEBLEU, France — The International Union for Conservation of Nature has made its first human addition to the list of endangered species: eligible Adventist males. The IUCN said that numbers Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference building is undergoing major refurbishment after HR finally stated the obvious: employees are so old the place should just be a nursing home. As Read more […]
