Friday, April 24, 2026
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#NotSatire

Trying to Preserve Adventism Is Ensuring Its Demise

Much of our energy today is spent worrying about whether the church will survive. We analyze membership trends, debate retention versus accession, measure the depth of conversion, and diagnose...
Adventist Education

Do Adventist schools have to have Adventist teachers?

My daughter goes to what I can honestly say is an outstanding Adventist elementary school. In fact, it’s the only Adventist primary school in Britain ever to receive an...
#NotSatire

Doubt Doesn’t Break Your Faith. Pretending Does.

Nobody leaves Adventism because they asked too many questions. They leave because they asked questions—and got silence, sidelong glances, and a Sabbath School quarterly that pretended the question didn’t exist. We built a...
#NotSatire

Prayer Is Not a Prescription. (God Made Therapists Too.)

Somewhere along the way we decided that struggling Christians just weren’t praying hard enough. Depression? More devotions.Anxiety? Claim the victory.Trauma? Have you tried fasting? We meant...
#NotSatire

The Resurrection Didn’t Need a Ham Dinner to Be Real

Every spring, Adventists perform a quiet liturgy of our own. The rest of Christianity buys lilies and books brunch. We… move on. Sabbath School covers the quarterly....
Uncategorized

Here’s Why the Mormons Are Way Richer Than Us

It’s not magic—it’s culture, structure, and theology. Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are, on average, wealthier than Seventh-day Adventists,...
Social Justice

Local Adventist Discovers Caring for the Poor Is Not a Liberal Conspiracy—But Actually, Like… Half the Bible

SPRINGFIELD, USA — In a shocking turn of events during this week’s Sabbath School discussion, local Adventist Mark Jensen reportedly discovered that caring for...

Adventist Culture

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Adventist Shaming: A Better Way Forward

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There are many absolutely beautiful aspects of Adventism. I...

We Can Do Vastly Better

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    For a group that often specializes in self-criticism, it’s...

Does BarelyAdventist Hate the Church?

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Between the satire, the memes, the open questions, the...

When Testimony Time Feels Like a Competition

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Testimony time can be one of the most beautiful...

Adventist Food

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Superstitious Church leaders scrap 13th Sabbath tradition

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SILVER SPRING, Md. --- In a dramatic shift for...

Would Adventist Leaders Be in Better Shape If They Actually Believed the Health Message?

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Long before Blue Zones were trendy, we were warning...

Why do people leave Adventism relieved—and why don’t we want to hear that?

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When people leave Adventism, many describe something unexpected: relief. Not...

Adventist prays for sun to stand still so she can finish her Friday chores

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LONDON, England --- An Adventist woman paused in prayer...

Sabbath Observance

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Bible Study Circle Quietly Reviews Anointing-Oil Contingency Plans

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Last Tuesday, as news of the U.S. naval blockade...

Local Adventist Agrees With Pope, Deeply Uncomfortable About It

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Man unsure whether to share article or burn phone COLLEGEDALE,...

Silver Spring Is Not Heaven. Fortunately, That’s Not the Point.

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If you’ve spent any time watching the General Conference...

Forty-Two Percent of Everyone Who Joins Us Eventually Leaves. Let’s Talk About That.

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That’s not a rounding error. That’s a pattern. Since 1965,...

BarelyAdventist is a satire and humor blog focused on Adventist culture and issues. Written by committed Adventists, the goal is to foster growth within the faith community through lighthearted conversation and humor, avoiding soapboxing or angry rants. The blog is not officially endorsed by the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists.

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