Friday, February 27, 2026
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Pathfinders Might Be the Best Thing We’ve Ever Done

For a surprising number of people who leave the Seventh-day Adventist Church, the one ministry they still speak about warmly is Pathfinders. Not the prophecy seminar. Not the tent campaign....
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The Gap Between Truth and Connection: Why People Aren’t Feeling Adventism

Here’s a confession many Adventist leaders won’t make in public: we can be theologically right and relationally catastrophic at the same time. We have the charts. We have the prophecies....
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Adventists Say They’d Feel Much Better If His Name Was “Good Bunny”

SILVER SPRING, MD — A growing number of Adventists confirmed this week that their discomfort with the Super Bowl halftime show might be significantly reduced if the performer were named “Good...
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Conference Officials Remind Members That “The Investigative Judgment” Does Not Apply to Your Neighbor’s Choice of Lawn Ornament

  TAKOMA PARK, MD — Conference officials issued a gentle reminder this week clarifying that the doctrine of the Investigative Judgment does not, in fact,...
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Frustrated Millennial Realizes “Dating Within the Faith” Limits Options to Her Third Cousin and the Guy Who Still Wears a Tie-Dye Revelation Seminar Shirt

COLLEGE PLACE, WA — Local Adventist millennial Hannah R. reportedly experienced a moment of sobering clarity this week after realizing that “dating within the...
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The Dumbest Things You Can Do in a Church Business Meeting

Here is a non-exhaustive list of the dumbest things you can do in a church business meeting, lovingly observed in the wild. Start a...
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The Quiet Financial Anxiety So Many of Us Carry

  This isn’t the dramatic, headline-grabbing kind of money stress. No eviction notice taped to the door. No tearful phone calls to the bank. Just...

Adventist Culture

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You’re Not Behind—You’re Just Not Living the Life You Imagined at 22

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Let’s say the quiet part out loud: a lot...

If You’re Exhausted, Discouraged, and Over It… Read This First

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You’re not burned out. You’re burned through. You’ve been...

You’re Not Falling Apart — You’re Just Living in a Broken World

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Let’s be honest. Some days feel less like walking...

Why Adventists Think They’re Different (and Why That Can Be Good)

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Yes, Adventists are different. We wake up early on...

Adventist Food

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Trump Vows Never to Put Tariffs on Adventists Because Ben Carson

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold new economic promise...

We Don’t Have a Youth Retention Problem—We Have an Adult Honesty Problem

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Adventism keeps asking why young people are leaving. We...

We Say ‘Present Truth’ but Panic Every Time It Actually Shows Up

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Adventism loves the phrase present truth. It sounds forward-looking,...

GC Officials Open Fire On Anti-Carob Protestors, Drenching Them Thoroughly With Super Soakers

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SILVER SPRING, MD — Chaos erupted outside the General...

Sabbath Observance

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English Is Over: The Global Church Is Moving On

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Adventism has long assumed North American English was the...

Anxiety Doesn’t Mean You’re Bad at Trusting God

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Somewhere along the way, many of us absorbed the...

In Defense of Adventism

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  Adventism is worth defending. Not the messy parts we...

Do You Ever Wonder Whether Adventist Satire Is Misunderstood by People Who Don’t Know the Church from the Inside?

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Absolutely. That’s probably the central risk of doing satire...

BarelyAdventist is a satire and humor blog focused on Adventist culture and issues. Written by committed Adventists, the goal is to foster growth within the faith community through lighthearted conversation and humor, avoiding soapboxing or angry rants. The blog is not officially endorsed by the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists.

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