BERKSHIRE, England — In the quaint village of Binfield a group of Adventurers in Builders children gathered for a much-hyped class in wilderness survival by a self-proclaimed modern day missionary/Viking, Read more […]
LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Long the jewel in the Adventist lifestyle crown, Loma Linda has suffered a dramatic fall from grace due to the torrential influx of retired church administrators moving to Read more […]
Silver Spring, Md. — General Conference President Ted Wilson has taken steps to ensure his vision remains unchallenged by implanting Neuralink chips in the brains of all GC employees. The move Read more […]
Ladida, Maine – In a move that has sent ripples of controversy through the Ladida Seventh-day Adventist Church, the church board has decided to update the congregation’s Sabbath greetings by substituting Read more […]
Underworld sources have confirmed that the Devil himself is beaming with pride over his impressive church board attendance record. According to Lucifer’s spokesperson, Beelzebob, the devil Read more […]
In a daring departure from the traditional agenda of hymn-singing, lining up to argue at mics and dramatically sending newly-recommended leadership names back to committee, organizers of this weekend’s Read more […]
Loma Linda, Calif. – In a stunning display of faith and fiscal desperation, a local medical student at Loma Linda University, John Stethoscope, has been caught on camera fervently praying for Read more […]
In a surprise move for the generally uneventful world of Adventist publishing, the Vatican has announced that it has snapped up worldwide publishing rights to Ellen White classic The Great Controversy. Explaining Read more […]
In an annoying display of pastoral self-assuredness, Pastor William “Windy” Williams of the Free Grace Adventist Church has proudly announced that he no longer needs to rely on sermon notes. While Read more […]
The latest item on a list of pastor must-haves is a brand new remote control that controls clocks in the church building. The device allows preachers to slow clocks if their sermon is running Read more […]
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