Tuesday, April 14, 2026
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#NotSatire

How Worried Should You be that Your Congregation isn’t Growing?

Look, let’s be real for a second. If your church has been the same twenty-seven faithful souls for the last decade, something’s off. Jesus said “Go and make disciples,”...
Fundamental Beliefs

Bible Study Circle Quietly Reviews Anointing-Oil Contingency Plans

Last Tuesday, as news of the U.S. naval blockade on Iranian ports rippled through the Persian Gulf—complete with Vice President JD Vance’s crisp declaration of tit-for-tat “economic terrorism” and...
Uncategorized

Here’s Why the Mormons Are Way Richer Than Us

It’s not magic—it’s culture, structure, and theology. Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are, on average, wealthier than Seventh-day Adventists, and here’s why. First, Mormons actively teach financial...
Social Justice

Local Adventist Discovers Caring for the Poor Is Not a Liberal Conspiracy—But Actually, Like… Half the Bible

SPRINGFIELD, USA — In a shocking turn of events during this week’s Sabbath School discussion, local Adventist Mark Jensen reportedly discovered that caring for...
Pioneers

Adventists Should Go First

Ellen G. White started a health reform movement when doctors were still prescribing whiskey. Our founders built hospitals in the wilderness, launched schools on...
Evangelism

Friendship Isn’t a Mission Field

When people talk about “friendship evangelism,” it often feels like they mean one-way outreach—befriending someone mainly to share your faith. Don’t get me wrong:...
Grace

Adventist Shaming: A Better Way Forward

There are many absolutely beautiful aspects of Adventism. I say that sincerely as a happy, grateful Adventist. Our commitment to health, education, service, and...

Adventist Culture

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Why do people leave Adventism relieved—and why don’t we want to hear that?

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When people leave Adventism, many describe something unexpected: relief. Not...

Adventist prays for sun to stand still so she can finish her Friday chores

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LONDON, England --- An Adventist woman paused in prayer...

Christian intimacy book, “The Adventist Missionary Position,” hits shelves

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NAMPA, Idaho --- In an attempt to counter secular...

What If Pastors Had Public Report Cards?

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Every Adventist kid remembers report card day. The quiet...

Adventist Food

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Is It Time to Say Goodbye to Ellen White?

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There’s a question that feels increasingly unavoidable in Adventism’s...

How Does Adventism Look Without Americans in Charge?

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Something quietly historic is happening in the Seventh-day Adventist...

How Should Adventists Feel About Muslims?

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Right now, Islam is everywhere in the news. With...

Pathfinders Might Be the Best Thing We’ve Ever Done

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For a surprising number of people who leave the...

Sabbath Observance

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We Quote Paul’s Thorn. We Never Talk About Our Own.

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Paul gets referenced a lot in Adventist circles. His...

Your Gay Kid Didn’t Leave Because of the World. They Left Because of Us.

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We told the story wrong for decades. The version we...

Ellen Was a Sick Teenage Girl Who Changed the World. Don’t Underestimate What You Have.

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She was nine years old when a rock hit...

You Are Not a Backslider. You Are a Human Being Having a Hard Time.

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  We have a word for people who are struggling. We...

BarelyAdventist is a satire and humor blog focused on Adventist culture and issues. Written by committed Adventists, the goal is to foster growth within the faith community through lighthearted conversation and humor, avoiding soapboxing or angry rants. The blog is not officially endorsed by the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists.

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