Wednesday, February 25, 2026
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The Gap Between Truth and Connection: Why People Aren’t Feeling Adventism

Here’s a confession many Adventist leaders won’t make in public: we can be theologically right and relationally catastrophic at the same time. We have the charts. We have the prophecies....
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If Your Theology Doesn’t Reduce Anxiety, People Will Find One That Does

An anxious generation will not be discipled by a fearful church. We are living in an age of burnout, rising depression, economic instability, and constant digital alarm bells. People are...
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Conference Officials Remind Members That “The Investigative Judgment” Does Not Apply to Your Neighbor’s Choice of Lawn Ornament

  TAKOMA PARK, MD — Conference officials issued a gentle reminder this week clarifying that the doctrine of the Investigative Judgment does not, in fact, extend to evaluating a neighbor’s lawn décor. The...
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Frustrated Millennial Realizes “Dating Within the Faith” Limits Options to Her Third Cousin and the Guy Who Still Wears a Tie-Dye Revelation Seminar Shirt

COLLEGE PLACE, WA — Local Adventist millennial Hannah R. reportedly experienced a moment of sobering clarity this week after realizing that “dating within the...
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Can This Church Tell the Truth About Itself Without Panicking?

Young Adventists aren’t asking a hundred different questions. They’re asking one: Can this church tell the truth about itself without panicking? They’re watching what happens...
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The Quiet Financial Anxiety So Many of Us Carry

  This isn’t the dramatic, headline-grabbing kind of money stress. No eviction notice taped to the door. No tearful phone calls to the bank. Just...
#NotSatire

You Can Love the Church and Still Demand Better From It

You Can Love the Church and Still Demand Better From It Too often, Adventism mistakes loyalty for silence. Speak up about mistakes, question leadership, or...

Adventist Culture

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If You’re Exhausted, Discouraged, and Over It… Read This First

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You’re not burned out. You’re burned through. You’ve been...

You’re Not Falling Apart — You’re Just Living in a Broken World

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Let’s be honest. Some days feel less like walking...

Why Adventists Think They’re Different (and Why That Can Be Good)

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Yes, Adventists are different. We wake up early on...

Adventist College Replaces DEI Officer With Suggestion Box

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In a bold move toward administrative efficiency, a major...

Adventist Food

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We Don’t Have a Youth Retention Problem—We Have an Adult Honesty Problem

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Adventism keeps asking why young people are leaving. We...

We Say ‘Present Truth’ but Panic Every Time It Actually Shows Up

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Adventism loves the phrase present truth. It sounds forward-looking,...

GC Officials Open Fire On Anti-Carob Protestors, Drenching Them Thoroughly With Super Soakers

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SILVER SPRING, MD — Chaos erupted outside the General...

Trump Tells NATO: “Iron and Clay Feet? No Way They Can Defend Greenland!”

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  WASHINGTON, D.C. — US President Donald Trump delivered a...

Sabbath Observance

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Anxiety Doesn’t Mean You’re Bad at Trusting God

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Somewhere along the way, many of us absorbed the...

In Defense of Adventism

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  Adventism is worth defending. Not the messy parts we...

Do You Ever Wonder Whether Adventist Satire Is Misunderstood by People Who Don’t Know the Church from the Inside?

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Absolutely. That’s probably the central risk of doing satire...

Adventists Say They’d Feel Much Better If His Name Was “Good Bunny”

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SILVER SPRING, MD — A growing number of Adventists...

BarelyAdventist is a satire and humor blog focused on Adventist culture and issues. Written by committed Adventists, the goal is to foster growth within the faith community through lighthearted conversation and humor, avoiding soapboxing or angry rants. The blog is not officially endorsed by the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists.

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