Monday, December 15, 2025
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Adventist Parents Shocked to Learn Their Kids Left Church After Being Raised on Fear, Charts, and Guilt

SPRINGDALE, ANY-CONFERENCE — In what church leaders are calling a “deeply confusing and unforeseeable outcome,” local Adventist parents expressed shock this week after discovering that their adult children no...
Uncategorized

The World Is Ready for a Bolder Adventism

Let’s say the quiet part out loud: too many Adventists are carrying around a strange religious inferiority complex. We lower our voices when we say who we are. We...
Sabbath

You Are Never Ready for the Sabbath

Real talk: nobody is ever truly “ready” for the Sabbath. It’s one of those Adventist ideas we keep chasing even though it doesn’t really exist — like perfectly-behaved Pathfinders or a...
Uncategorized

God Wants You To Be Less Hard on Yourself

Somewhere along the way, a lot of us picked up the idea that holy equals harsh — the more you punish yourself, the closer...
Church Life

The Case for Going to Church

(Yes… even if your local congregation feels like it’s running on fumes.) It has become very en vogue to say, “I don’t need church. I...
Adventists Speak Up

Beware of the Establishment

If you’ve ever wondered who really runs the Adventist Church, look no further than the seasoned church politicians who have been in office since...
Sabbath

Should Adventists Embrace Hustle Culture?

“Hustle culture” has become the shiny buzzword everywhere from TikTok to LinkedIn to that one cousin who is always “between business launches.” And honestly?...

Adventist Culture

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Turkeys Beg Adventists: Listen to Ellen White on Vegetarianism

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In a rare joint statement released yesterday, the National...

Why Are Adventists So Into Catholic Bashing?

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If you’ve spent more than seven minutes in an...

Job Opening: Professional Dad Joke Dispenser

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BarelyAdventist is thrilled to announce an opening for the...

Adult Sabbath School Class Nearly Divides Over Piano Being Moved Two Inches to the Left

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SILVER SPRING, MD — According to trembling eyewitnesses, the...

Adventist Food

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Why Are Adventists So Fascinated With Freemasons? Asking for a friend with a stack of Amazing Facts DVDs.

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If you’ve spent more than seven minutes in Adventist...

Forget the Doctrinal Wars—A New Adventism Is Rising

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The balance of power in Adventism is shifting. The...

Loma Linda Haystack Joint Awarded Three Michelin Stars

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LOMA LINDA, Calif. — In news that has absolutely...

Let’s Build a Joyful Adventist Community

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There’s something sacred about moments like this—friends gathered close,...

Sabbath Observance

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Date-Setter Sends Jesus Calendar Invite for Second Coming

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Local Adventist date-setter Brother Marvin has reportedly taken prophecy...

How to Be Adventist… Without Becoming a Spiritual Elitist

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Adventists have been handed a wildly unique and genuinely...

Why Are Adventist Men’s Ministries So Bad?

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Let’s be honest: a lot of Adventist men’s ministries...

When Their Pathfinders Look Like a Commercial and Ours Forget Their Scarves

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Some Pathfinder clubs look like they were cast for...

BarelyAdventist is a satire and humor blog focused on Adventist culture and issues. Written by committed Adventists, the goal is to foster growth within the faith community through lighthearted conversation and humor, avoiding soapboxing or angry rants. The blog is not officially endorsed by the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists.

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