Dwight Nelson Takes Over As ‘Jeopardy!’ Host
BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. —- Pioneer Memorial Church Senior Pastor Dwight Nelson, confirmed today that he would be taking on a “sideline” as host of ‘Jeopardy!’ Nelson, who will continue Read more […]
Turkeys Urge Americans Not To Travel For Thanksgiving
UNITED STATES —— Turkeys across the United States have warned Americans of the extreme dangers of traveling for Thanksgiving this year. “Don’t risk your health or that of your family Read more […]
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Biden Calls For Forgiveness Of Southern Adventist University Student Fine Debt
WASHINGTON, D.C. – US President-Elect Joe Biden has called for immediate congressional action to cancel “crippling Southern Adventist University fine debt.” The politician said that “no Read more […]
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Borat To Remain Fully Clothed For 3ABN Special Music
HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Famed Kazakh journalist, Borat Sagdiyev promised he would be appearing “with full clothings” for his performance of “several very nice patriotic hit specials from United Read more […]
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Amy Coney Barrett Confirmed As Fodder For Future Prophecy Seminars
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Hours ago, the US Senate confirmed Judge Amy Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court in a victory for Adventist prophecy seminars everywhere. The 48-year-old Roman Catholic Read more […]
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Annual Council Features As Comedy Special On Netflix
SILVER SPRING, Md. —- In an effort to further diversify its content, streaming giant Netflix has bought rights to the Annual Council live stream and video library. The deal was sealed for Read more […]
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GC President Inks Endorsement Deal With Wilson Basketballs
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Pledging all proceeds to improving recess time for Adventist elementary school students, General Conference President Ted Wilson accepted a new role today officially endorsing Read more […]
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Trump, Biden Commit To Singing “Kumbaya” Together At Start Of Next Debate
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After the unmitigated disaster that was the first US Presidential Debate, both President Donald Trump and Former Vice President Joe Biden have committed to a duet at the Read more […]
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Explosive NYT Report Reveals Trump Gave Nothing To 13th Sabbath Offering
NEW YORK, N.Y. — A bombshell New York Times report into President Donald Trump’s tax returns has revealed the US President gave exactly nothing to 13th Sabbath School offering over the last Read more […]
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Jonah Vows Never To Draw Straws Again
Sweet Publishing / FreeBibleimages.org. ANCIENT NEWS — Moments after Jonah hit dry land, the repentant prophet asked shocked bystanders for directions to Nineveh and told everyone he was turning Read more […]
