Thursday, February 5, 2026
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Can This Church Tell the Truth About Itself Without Panicking?

Young Adventists aren’t asking a hundred different questions. They’re asking one: Can this church tell the truth about itself without panicking? They’re watching what happens when uncomfortable realities surface—about LGBTQ...
Uncategorized

Church Shouldn’t Feel Like Walking on Eggshells

Somewhere along the way, church became a place where many of us lower our voices, rehearse our sentences, and scan the room before saying anything remotely honest. Not because...
#NotSatire

You’re Not Behind—You’re Just Not Living the Life You Imagined at 22

Let’s say the quiet part out loud: a lot of us are grieving a version of ourselves that never showed up. You thought you’d be further along by now. More certain. More...
#NotSatire

If You’re Exhausted, Discouraged, and Over It… Read This First

You’re not burned out. You’re burned through. You’ve been caring, hoping, believing, showing up, and holding it together longer than anyone realizes—and now your...
#NotSatire

You’re Not Falling Apart — You’re Just Living in a Broken World

Let’s be honest. Some days feel less like walking with Jesus and more like being dragged behind the chariot. You prayed. You tried. You even...
Progressive Revelation

We Say ‘Present Truth’ but Panic Every Time It Actually Shows Up

Adventism loves the phrase present truth. It sounds forward-looking, flexible, even brave. But in practice, when present truth shows up, panic tends to follow. Somewhere...
Uncategorized

GC Officials Open Fire On Anti-Carob Protestors, Drenching Them Thoroughly With Super Soakers

SILVER SPRING, MD — Chaos erupted outside the General Conference headquarters this morning after GC officials “opened fire” on anti-carob demonstrators, soaking them thoroughly...

Adventist Culture

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Are We Making Too Much of a Deal About the Sabbath?

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The Sabbath is a gift. It’s a commandment, yes—but more...

The Thing That Still Drives Me After All These Years

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I grew up as a missionary kid, and there’s...

Why Counting Baptisms May Be the Least Honest Metric We Have

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Let’s start here: when someone chooses to follow Jesus,...

God Is Not a Sadist

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God’s ideal is clear: a loving, faithful, life-giving marriage....

Adventist Food

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Stop Calling Him Doubting Thomas

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  Stop Calling Him Doubting Thomas Somehow, Thomas ended up with...

When My Adventist World Fell Apart at 11

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I grew up on missionary campuses, mostly in Asia,...

Is It Time to Say Goodbye to Ellen White?

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There’s a question that feels increasingly unavoidable in Adventism’s...

Overthink 2026 (On Purpose)

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We’re all thinking about 2026. The year is here...

Sabbath Observance

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If You Feel Alone Right Now, This Is for You

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Loneliness doesn’t always look like being by yourself. Sometimes...

Local Adventist Confirms Costco Hot Dog Aligns With Church Teachings Because It’s Still $1.50

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  COLLEGE PLACE, WA — Local Adventist Frank Stewardson confirmed...

When Life Drains You, This Is the Reminder You Actually Need

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  Let’s not sugarcoat it: some days, life feels like...

Is BarelyAdventist Liberal or Conservative?

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Labels like liberal, conservative, progressive, or historical get thrown...

BarelyAdventist is a satire and humor blog focused on Adventist culture and issues. Written by committed Adventists, the goal is to foster growth within the faith community through lighthearted conversation and humor, avoiding soapboxing or angry rants. The blog is not officially endorsed by the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists.

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