Monday, February 9, 2026
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Do You Ever Wonder Whether Adventist Satire Is Misunderstood by People Who Don’t Know the Church from the Inside?

Absolutely. That’s probably the central risk of doing satire from the inside of any faith community. When you don’t know the church from the inside, you don’t always catch the...
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Adventists Say They’d Feel Much Better If His Name Was “Good Bunny”

SILVER SPRING, MD — A growing number of Adventists confirmed this week that their discomfort with the Super Bowl halftime show might be significantly reduced if the performer were...
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If You Feel Alone Right Now, This Is for You

Loneliness doesn’t always look like being by yourself. Sometimes it looks like being surrounded by people and still feeling unseen. Full calendars. Endless messages. No place where you can really exhale. If...
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Local Adventist Confirms Costco Hot Dog Aligns With Church Teachings Because It’s Still $1.50

  COLLEGE PLACE, WA — Local Adventist Frank Stewardson confirmed Friday that purchasing a Costco hot dog remains fully compatible with the church’s teachings on...
#NotSatire

When Life Drains You, This Is the Reminder You Actually Need

  Let’s not sugarcoat it: some days, life feels like it’s siphoning energy straight out of your soul. Not just tired—soul-tired. You’ve rested, prayed, maybe...
Peculiar People

Why Adventists Think They’re Different (and Why That Can Be Good)

Yes, Adventists are different. We wake up early on Saturdays, obsess over prophecy like it’s a Netflix series, and talk about the Second Coming...
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Adventist College Replaces DEI Officer With Suggestion Box

In a bold move toward administrative efficiency, a major Adventist college has officially replaced its Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion officer with a single suggestion...

Adventist Culture

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Single Adventist Woman Seeking Husband to Help Populate an Entire Pathfinder Club

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Age: Old enough to know better, young enough to...

We Don’t Need to Agree

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  Growing up on missionary campuses felt like a miniature...

BREAKING: Trans-European Division Deploys Pathfinders to Defend Greenland

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In a decisive and extremely well-badged move, the Trans-European...

Trump Announces “Very Peaceful” Invasion of Pitcairn Island After Discovering It Keeps the Sabbath

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PITCAIRN ISLAND (Somewhere Near Revelation 14) — U.S. President Donald...

Adventist Food

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The Thing That Still Drives Me After All These Years

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I grew up as a missionary kid, and there’s...

Why Counting Baptisms May Be the Least Honest Metric We Have

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Let’s start here: when someone chooses to follow Jesus,...

God Is Not a Sadist

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God’s ideal is clear: a loving, faithful, life-giving marriage....

Should We Be Embarrassed That Jesus Isn’t Back Yet?

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As Adventists, our story begins with embarrassment. The Great Disappointment...

Sabbath Observance

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The Dumbest Things You Can Do in a Church Business Meeting

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Here is a non-exhaustive list of the dumbest things...

The Quiet Financial Anxiety So Many of Us Carry

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  This isn’t the dramatic, headline-grabbing kind of money stress....

You Can Love the Church and Still Demand Better From It

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You Can Love the Church and Still Demand Better...

Study Reveals: Nobody Believes Pastor When He Says “In Conclusion” on Sabbath Morning

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Study Reveals—A new Sabbath-morning study confirms that no Adventist...

BarelyAdventist is a satire and humor blog focused on Adventist culture and issues. Written by committed Adventists, the goal is to foster growth within the faith community through lighthearted conversation and humor, avoiding soapboxing or angry rants. The blog is not officially endorsed by the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists.

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