Wednesday, May 20, 2026
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#NotSatire

The Cost of Being Right All the Time

  One of the real strengths of Adventism is that it takes truth seriously. Doctrine matters. Belief matters. Conviction matters. A church without conviction does not stay a church for...
#NotSatire

Adventism’s Hidden Class System: Who Gets Heard and Why

Every church says it listens to everyone. But every church develops a quiet hierarchy of who actually gets heard. Adventism is no exception. There’s no formal system. No written ranking of...
Sabbath

Sometimes I Feel Like I Need a Sabbath from the Sabbath

  I love my church. I’m all in. I want it to grow, to thrive, to become the kind of community people actually want to be part of. And with a 10-year-old,...
#NotSatire

Trying to Preserve Adventism Is Ensuring Its Demise

Much of our energy today is spent worrying about whether the church will survive. We analyze membership trends, debate retention versus accession, measure the...
Adventist Education

Do Adventist schools have to have Adventist teachers?

My daughter goes to what I can honestly say is an outstanding Adventist elementary school. In fact, it’s the only Adventist primary school in...
Grace

Pastor Delivers Entire Sermon On Grace, Ends With 11-Point Checklist

In what attendees are calling “a spiritual experience with a very unexpected landing,” Pastor Doug Finley delivered what many described as the most powerful...
#NotSatire

How Worried Should You be that Your Congregation isn’t Growing?

Look, let’s be real for a second. If your church has been the same twenty-seven faithful souls for the last decade, something’s off. Jesus...

Adventist Culture

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The Resurrection Didn’t Need a Ham Dinner to Be Real

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Every spring, Adventists perform a quiet liturgy of our...

We Quote Paul’s Thorn. We Never Talk About Our Own.

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Paul gets referenced a lot in Adventist circles. His...

Your Gay Kid Didn’t Leave Because of the World. They Left Because of Us.

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We told the story wrong for decades. The version we...

Ellen Was a Sick Teenage Girl Who Changed the World. Don’t Underestimate What You Have.

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She was nine years old when a rock hit...

Adventist Food

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Here’s Why the Mormons Are Way Richer Than Us

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It’s not magic—it’s culture, structure, and theology. Members of...

Local Adventist Discovers Caring for the Poor Is Not a Liberal Conspiracy—But Actually, Like… Half the Bible

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SPRINGFIELD, USA — In a shocking turn of events...

Adventists Should Go First

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Ellen G. White started a health reform movement when...

Potluck Will Save The Church

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Theologians have failed us. The GC has (frequently) failed...

Sabbath Observance

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Stop Treating “Do Not Worry” Like a Suggestion

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We’ve turned one of Jesus’ clearest commands into background...

Should We Shun Those Who Leave Adventism?

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In a lot of high-control religious spaces, shunning isn’t...

Why Be Adventist When the Church Drives You Crazy?

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Honest answer? You probably have a list of reasons...

Which Sins Get Adventists Judged—and Which Get Them Promoted?

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In Adventist circles, we all know that not all...

BarelyAdventist is a satire and humor blog focused on Adventist culture and issues. Written by committed Adventists, the goal is to foster growth within the faith community through lighthearted conversation and humor, avoiding soapboxing or angry rants. The blog is not officially endorsed by the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists.

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