ADVENTIST WORLD – A bombshell report from the International Trade Commission (ITC) today revealed there basically is no return policy on goats secured through the ADRA catalog. Although the Read more […]
Chattanooga, Tenn. – Dying to rip open a box of Little Debbie Nutty Buddy treats, local Pathfinder counselor Patch Aittems paused briefly to say grace, asking for the sugar bomb to nourish and Read more […]
NORTH POLE: Santa Claus spent today fuming about Adventist efforts to persuade kids he doesn’t exist. “It’s hard enough to deliver presents with COVID complicating everything,” Santa Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — This week, the General Conference Youth Department offered Tom Cruise the role of global Pathfinder drill sergeant after his scathing rebuke of staff breaking COVID-distancing Read more […]
Chatty, Mich. — Longwind SDA has at least one thing to celebrate despite the COVID craziness that has defined the last several months. The Guinness World Record organization notified the Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD —- ABC stores are cashing in on the dramatic surge in conspiracy theory dissemination lately by dedicating shelf space to the stickiest ideas. COVID has allowed some of the Read more […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. —- Calls for action against Facebook intensified on Capitol Hill today with the bombshell revelation that an overly-involved Adventist mom has been using the social media platform Read more […]
Cana, Israel —- While happy Cana wedding guests enjoyed new wine from 6 stone jars, a nervous Adventist looked around the hall for any sign of a Martinelli’s bottle. Not finding any and Read more […]
LOMA LINDA, Calif. —- Zader Cruise has spent the last couple hours scouring ellenwhite.org for ammo to give him the upper hand in his long-standing feud with the deputy head deacon at his church. The Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. —- This morning, General Conference President Ted Wilson reminded Adventists around the world that clapping in church was not allowed, not even on Zoom. “Some of the Read more […]
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