Tuesday, June 17, 2025
spot_img

Local Adventist Church Baffled by Lack of Community Interest Despite “Obviously Superior Lifestyle”

Babylon, MD— Members of the Righteousness Heights Seventh-day Adventist Church expressed bewilderment this week after their latest evangelistic series, "Why Everyone Should Be Like Us," failed to attract a...

Nationalist SDA Upset Heaven Includes All Nations, Tribes, Tongues

TAKOMA PARK, Md. — Local Seventh-day Adventist and self-proclaimed Christian nationalist Brad Whitman expressed deep disappointment this week after reading Revelation 7:9 during his morning devotions, discovering that Heaven...

GC Announces Tithe Transparency App With Leaderboard and Shame Notifications

In a move to “build trust and accountability,” the Adventist Church has unveiled its latest digital innovation: the Tithe Transparency App, now featuring real-time leaderboards and personalized shame notifications for members...

GC Warns First American Pope to Move Super Bowl Sunday to Saturday so Adventists Can’t Watch

The General Conference has warned that Pope Leo XIV, the first American pope, is allegedly plotting to shift Super Bowl Sunday to Saturday as...

Loma Linda Adventists Greatly Disappointed: “Cloud the Size of a Hand” Just LA Smog

LOMA LINDA, CA – Excitement swept through the Loma Linda Adventist community yesterday as word spread of a mysterious “cloud the size of a...

GC Slaps 49% Tithe Hike On Pro-Women’s Ordination Regions

SILVER SPRING, Md.– In a move that’s got Adventists worldwide clutching their wallets, the General Conference (GC) announced a jaw-dropping tithe hike this week,...

5 Reasons Jesus Isn’t Back Yet

As Adventists we are impatient for Jesus to come back. Truth be told, we are embarrassed he hasn’t yet returned. Here are some reasons...

Adventist Culture

Adventist Grandma Insists She Is “Woke” Due to Trusty Alarm Clock

Local Adventist grandmother, Edna Pritchard, 87, proudly declared herself...

DOGE Disbands Every Adventist Committee

SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a shocking turn of...

Offering Canceled Because Nobody Carries Cash

Pastor Bill Fleece of the Everhope Seventh-day Adventist Church...

Students Stage Overnight Cow Coup at Andrews University

In a stunning reversal of Andrews University’s 2019 decision...

Adventist Food

Ted Wilson Fashion Statements

Nothing says bold like some of these fashion decisions...

Trump Commands World to Worship Golden Gaza Statue

WASHINGTON DC. — Adventists are abuzz after Donald Trump’s...

GC Emails Members: “What Sinful Work Did You Sneak in Last Sabbath?”

SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a bold move inspired...

Sabbath Observance

Wilson Blames Bankruptcy of Loma Linda Foods on The Shaking

In a statement released from his office surrounded by...

GC: We’re Not Exclusive, We Just Prefer to Be Right Alone

SILVER SPRING, MD—The Seventh-day Adventist General Conference (GC) has...