GC Commemorates Waco By Reminding Members Not To Question Its Authority

Silver Spring, MD – In commemoration of the 30th anniversary of the Waco tragedy, the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists has issued a statement urging members not to question its authority. “The Read more […]

GC Forms Human Sexuality Task Force to Ensure That LGBT+ Members Are Treated With Love and Respect, as Long as They Don’t Act on Their Orientation

SILVER SPRING, MD – In response to growing concerns about the influence of LGBT+ individuals within the Adventist Church, the General Conference has announced the formation of a new task force aimed Read more […]

Andrews University: Watching Animal Planet Counts for Worship Credit

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — In a stunning announcement, Andrews University has revealed that watching Animal Planet now counts for worship credit. The new rule states that students can earn up to Read more […]

Tone-deaf Special Music Soloist Strikes Fear Into Hearts of Church Members as He Promises to Sing for Third Sabbath in a Row

Chalkboard, Mich. — Members of Flat Note Seventh-day Adventist Church are bracing themselves for yet another special music by their tone-deaf soloist (and only willing special music provider) Read more […]

SATIRE – COMPLAINT FOR UNAUTHORIZED USE OF TRADEMARKED PHRASE “HIGHEST AUTHORITY ON EARTH” FILED BY GC AGAINST VATICAN

COMPLAINT FOR UNAUTHORIZED USE OF TRADEMARKED PHRASE “HIGHEST AUTHORITY ON EARTH” FILED BY GC AGAINST VATICAN Plaintiff, General Conference of over-traveled executives, brings this action against Read more […]

Pastor Saša Gunjević First Adventist Pastor To Maintain Credentials After Wearing Non-Regulation Socks

Pastor Sasha Gunjević of Hamburg-Grindelberg Adventist Church has made international Adventist headlines lately for sporting non-regulation socks during his sermons. The pastor is the first Adventist Read more […]