Adventist Prays Little Debbie Treat Will Nourish And Strengthen His Body

Chattanooga, Tenn. – Dying to rip open a box of Little Debbie Nutty Buddy treats, local Pathfinder counselor Patch Aittems paused briefly to say grace, asking for the sugar bomb to nourish and Read more […]

Adventist Committee Sets Guinness World Record For Longest Meeting

Chatty, Mich. — Longwind SDA has at least one thing to celebrate despite the COVID craziness that has defined the last several months. The Guinness World Record organization notified the Read more […]

Breaking: Facebook Allowed Adventist Mom To Spy On Millennial Son

WASHINGTON, D.C. —- Calls for action against Facebook intensified on Capitol Hill today with the bombshell revelation that an overly-involved Adventist mom has been using the social media platform Read more […]

Adventist At Cana Wedding Feast Wants Jesus To Turn Wine Into Welch’s

Cana, Israel —- While happy Cana wedding guests enjoyed new wine from 6 stone jars, a nervous Adventist looked around the hall for any sign of a Martinelli’s bottle. Not finding any and Read more […]

Ted Wilson Warns Adventists Not To Use Zoom Clap Function For Church

SILVER SPRING, Md. —- This morning, General Conference President Ted Wilson reminded Adventists around the world that clapping in church was not allowed, not even on Zoom. “Some of the Read more […]