Trump Attacks China With Choice EGW Quotes
UN TV WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump has used a brand new weapon in his ongoing war of words and trade with China: Ellen G. White quotations. Trump prefaced his recent UN General Read more […]
Big Pharma Races To Release Anti-Anxiety Benefits Of Sabbath In Pill Form
WORLD — Pharmaceutical giants are sprinting to be the first to produce a Sabbath pill. Research labs are working around the clock to create medication allowing those that take it a feeling Read more […]
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Annual Council To Vote By Mail-In Ballots
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Due to COVID-19 restrictions on air travel, Annual Council will be held virtually in October. Although Zoom has worked for General Conference committees and group presentations, Read more […]
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Nebuchadnezzar Statue Next In Line For Toppling
ROME, Italy — The Statue Preservation Association released a statement today announcing an imminent threat to another statue. “This time the statue slated for toppling doesn’t depict a Read more […]
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Trump Promises To Build Wall Around Adventist Subdivision In Heaven
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As Election Day looms, the Trump and Biden campaigns are appealing to voters of all stripes in an attempt to woo them. Both candidates are scraping the barrel when it comes to Read more […]
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Apple: Even Adam & Eve Loved Our Products
CUPERTINO, Calif. — A team of Old Testament scholars recently hired by Apple have uncovered what they call “unmistakable evidence the first humans loved Apple products.” The previously unemployed Read more […]
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La Sierra Announces Exclusively Online Dating For Fall
RIVERSIDE, Calif. — La Sierra University students hoping for romance this fall may have to settle for virtual flirting. As part of its announcement that classes would all be online for Read more […]
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CDC Labels Hymnals Super Spreaders
ATLANTA, Ga. — Adventist hymnals are headed for the dumpsters after a statement released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention calling the volumes “super spreaders.” The CDC Read more […]
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Biden Grills Harris On Pathfinder Pledge & Law Ahead Of Loma Linda Campaign Stop
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Within hours of announcing California Senator Kamala Harris as his running mate, Democratic presidential hopeful Joe Biden cleared his schedule to test his VP on what he Read more […]
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Dilemma: Should I Pay My Taxi Driver On Sabbath?
Hi BarelyAdventist readers, I’m writing this in a cab on the way to church and I wanted to get your take on whether or not I should pay my driver. I really would rather not pay my fare Read more […]
