Adventist Bible Case Automatically Climbs to Top of Every Pile

OXFORD, England — A group of Adventist inventors has created a Bible case that automatically rises to the top of any pile. The new case, called the “Ascend & Defend Bible Case,” is made of Read more […]

Billion-Copy Great Controversy Distribution Now Happening Via Email Due to Soaring Printing Costs

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Change of plans: ballooning inflation has meant that the printing of the billion Great Controversy copies that were supposed to be distributed across the globe, has been scrapped Read more […]

Gender-Neutral Ministries Dept Replaces Women’s/Men’s Ministries In Swedish Union

STOCKHOLM, Sweden — Segregated men’s and women’s ministries are a thing of the past in the Swedish Adventist Church. The old departments have been thrown out in favor of what the Swedish Union Read more […]

Pastor With Multiple Churches Can’t Remember Which Sermon He’s Preached Where

DALARNA, Sweden – Pastor Hans Glömmer’s life was thrown into disarray recently when he was transferred to a new territory with four churches. Not only was the Sabbath morning commute killer Read more […]

Ben Carson Begs Adventists To Stop Panic Buying Stripples

Cool it. WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson has a special message for Adventists during the coronavirus crisis. The Adventist member of President Trump’s cabinet asked his Read more […]

ABC Stores Rattled As Walmart Opens Hot New EGW / Veggie Cheese Aisles

ADVENTIST WORLD – The Adventist Book Center chain is officially under siege after an announcement from Walmart that the retail giant is not just going to stand by and let someone else cash in Read more […]

Breaking: Mueller Report Almost As Exciting as Adventist Church Manual

WASHINGTON, D.C. — An independent panel of experts with nothing better to do have just completed an exhaustive reading of the recently-released Mueller Report and the most up-to-date edition Read more […]