White Estate Ditches Plans to Make EGW Smile in Historic Photos After Kate Middleton Fiasco

The Ellen G. White Estate has called off its mission to plaster a grin on Adventist cofounder Ellen White’s face in photographs. The sudden change of heart follows the uproar caused by Princess Read more […]

Ellen White Chatbot Can Answer All Your Burning Questions

Adventists everywhere are buzzing with excitement over the latest technological breakthrough: an Ellen White chatbot. That’s right, now you can get all the spiritual guidance you need from the Read more […]

White Estate Releases VR Experience of EGW Visions

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Gone are the days when you had to read books to discover Ellen White’s visions. This month the White Estate released all key visions of the Adventist co-founder as a virtual Read more […]

Elmshaven Closes as EGW’s Descendants Move Back In

  ST. HELENA, Calif. — Tours of Elmshaven, Adventist co-founder Ellen White’s Northern Californian home, have been scrapped due to new occupants moving in. At the time of publishing, Read more […]

Billion-Copy Great Controversy Distribution Now Happening Via Email Due to Soaring Printing Costs

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Change of plans: ballooning inflation has meant that the printing of the billion Great Controversy copies that were supposed to be distributed across the globe, has been scrapped Read more […]

SCANDAL: Researcher Discovers EGW Favored Doritos Over Fritos In Haystacks

SILVER SPRING, Md. —— General Conference senior leadership rushed into an emergency meeting this morning after a researcher at the White Estate forwarded a memo claiming “irrefutable evidence Read more […]

Plagiarizing Seminarian Claims He’s Only Following EGW’s Footsteps

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. – John the seminarian is on unusually thin ice this week after his professor discovered his term paper had been lifted word-for-word from other sources.  Scrambling Read more […]