Tuesday, October 15, 2024

Ellen White

Ellen White Impersonator Suffers Heatstroke in Full 19th Century Attire at Outdoor Event

Ellen White impersonator Mildred Hawkins suffered a severe case of heatstroke during the annual Adventist Heritage Festival, collapsing dramatically mid-sermon. Dressed in a full-length black dress, bonnet, and multiple...

White Estate Ditches Plans to Make EGW Smile in Historic Photos After Kate Middleton Fiasco

The Ellen G. White Estate has called off its mission to plaster a grin on Adventist cofounder Ellen White’s face in photographs. The sudden...

Ellen White Chatbot Can Answer All Your Burning Questions

Adventists everywhere are buzzing with excitement over the latest technological breakthrough: an Ellen White chatbot. That’s right, now you can get all the spiritual...

White Estate Releases VR Experience of EGW Visions

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Gone are the days when you had to read books to discover Ellen White’s visions. This month the White Estate...

Elmshaven Closes as EGW’s Descendants Move Back In

  ST. HELENA, Calif. --- Tours of Elmshaven, Adventist co-founder Ellen White's Northern Californian home, have been scrapped due to new occupants moving in. At the...

Billion-Copy Great Controversy Distribution Now Happening Via Email Due to Soaring Printing Costs

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Change of plans: ballooning inflation has meant that the printing of the billion Great Controversy copies that were supposed to...

Member Fact-Checking Bible With EGW

Tear Falls, Mich. — Lately Stumble Block SDA Head Deaconess Liga List has been very concerned at a number of Biblical shortcomings. In an email...

SCANDAL: Researcher Discovers EGW Favored Doritos Over Fritos In Haystacks

SILVER SPRING, Md. —— General Conference senior leadership rushed into an emergency meeting this morning after a researcher at the White Estate forwarded a...

Picture This: Ellen G. White’s Top Looks

Take a peek at Ellen G. White's most popular poses. Eat your heart out, America's Next Top Model!

Picture This: 11 Adventist Buzzkills

Joy can be found in many things, in many places. These are not those things. These are not those places.

Plagiarizing Seminarian Claims He’s Only Following EGW’s Footsteps

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. - John the seminarian is on unusually thin ice this week after his professor discovered his term paper had been lifted word-for-word...