Entire Congregation Blows Diet at Poltuck
Everyone at Setbacks Seventh-day Adventist Church abandoned their summer health kick during last Sabbath’s potluck. The church, known for its kale smoothie socials and tofu cooking classes, had Read more […]
Category: Potluck
Adventist College Kid Picking Church Fully Based On Quality of Potluck
In a move that has surprised absolutely no one familiar with Adventist church culture, local Adventist university student Jason Frimbly has based his entire church home decision on one key factor Read more […]
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Adventist Who Claims “Calories Don’t Count on Sabbath” Not Exactly Counting Them Any Other Day Either
Riverside, Calif. – Local church member Brian Lendell is facing scrutiny after making his signature “calories don’t count on Sabbath” claim once again at last week’s potluck. According to multiple Read more […]
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Member Who Brought Actual Chicken to Church Potluck Suddenly VIP
At Eden Springs Adventist Church’s potluck, local church pianist Kay F Cee’s decision to break the vegetarian tradition by bringing actual chicken won her a lot of friends this Sabbath. As Read more […]
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End Times Sermon Interrupted by Member Asking if Potluck is Still On
Pastor Bartholomew Thompson’s sermon on the impending apocalypse took a dramatic nosedive this Sabbath, thanks to an unexpected inquiry from the congregation. As Thompson weaved a tapestry of biblical Read more […]
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Greek-speaking Widow Leaves 1-Star Review For Early Church Potluck
Jerusalem – Sister Demetria, a Greek-speaking widow, has sent shockwaves through the early Christian community by leaving a scathing one-star review of a recent church potluck. In the review Read more […]
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Ways To Ruin a Tofu Potluck Dish
Tofu dishes can work out great for potluck, but let’s face it – given a tight pre-Sabbath Friday afternoon even the best of us can stumble in prepping them. Here’s how to turn your tofu potluck Read more […]
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Potluck Miraculously Solves Adventist Differences
SLURP, Mich. — In a groundbreaking study conducted by the Institute of Adventist Quirks and Quibbles (IAQQ), researchers have found that the vast majority of theological and lifestyle disagreements Read more […]
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British Union Conference Plans to Expose Churches With Worst Potlucks
WATFORD, England —The British Union Conference of the Seventh-day Adventists has set its sights on a matter of utmost importance: lackluster potlucks. In an unprecedented move, the Union has Read more […]
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7 Ways to Ruin a Potluck
Potlucks are a staple of Adventist culture, but they can quickly turn disastrous if not handled properly. Here are seven surefire ways to ruin every potluck you attend: Show up empty-handed. Read more […]
