Greek-speaking Widow Leaves 1-Star Review For Early Church Potluck

Jerusalem – Sister Demetria, a Greek-speaking widow, has sent shockwaves through the early Christian community by leaving a scathing one-star review of a recent church potluck. In the review Read more […]

Potluck Miraculously Solves Adventist Differences

SLURP, Mich. — In a groundbreaking study conducted by the Institute of Adventist Quirks and Quibbles (IAQQ), researchers have found that the vast majority of theological and lifestyle disagreements Read more […]

British Union Conference Plans to Expose Churches With Worst Potlucks

WATFORD, England —The British Union Conference of the Seventh-day Adventists has set its sights on a matter of utmost importance: lackluster potlucks. In an unprecedented move, the Union has Read more […]

7 Adventist Potluck Dishes Ranked According to Awesomeness

Sabbath is coming and you BETTER bring something good to potluck. Here is the definitive ranking of your options: 1) Haystacks  No self-respecting Adventist congregation can go for too Read more […]

Mandatory: Cooking Lessons For Underperforming Potluck Contributors

ADVENTIST WORLD – As of this coming Sunday morning, every Adventist member that consistently turns up to potluck with dishes deemed “underperforming” by 50% or more of their church board, will Read more […]

Adventist Walk of Shame: Leaving Potluck With Untouched Dish

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — According to the Andrews University Dietetics Department, the greatest source of shame in the Adventist experience is the prospect of leaving a potluck with a dish you Read more […]