Monday, June 23, 2025

Potluck

Local Church Introduces New ‘Plausible Deniability Potluck’ Where No One Knows Who Brought What

In a revolutionary approach to Adventist fellowship dining, the Pleasant Valley SDA Church has introduced a groundbreaking "Plausible Deniability Potluck" system designed to protect the identities of culinary contributors...

Church Social Committee Faces Backlash After Scheduling Event That Doesn’t Involve Food

SILVER SPRING, Maryland — The Pleasant Valley Seventh-day Adventist Church Social Committee is facing unprecedented criticism after announcing their latest event: a poetry reading...

Entire Congregation Blows Diet at Poltuck

Everyone at Setbacks Seventh-day Adventist Church abandoned their summer health kick during last Sabbath's potluck. The church, known for its kale smoothie socials and tofu...

Adventist College Kid Picking Church Fully Based On Quality of Potluck

In a move that has surprised absolutely no one familiar with Adventist church culture, local Adventist university student Jason Frimbly has based his entire...

Adventist Who Claims “Calories Don’t Count on Sabbath” Not Exactly Counting Them Any Other Day Either

Riverside, Calif. - Local church member Brian Lendell is facing scrutiny after making his signature "calories don't count on Sabbath" claim once again at...

Member Who Brought Actual Chicken to Church Potluck Suddenly VIP

At Eden Springs Adventist Church’s potluck, local church pianist Kay F Cee’s decision to break the vegetarian tradition by bringing actual chicken won her...

End Times Sermon Interrupted by Member Asking if Potluck is Still On

Pastor Bartholomew Thompson's sermon on the impending apocalypse took a dramatic nosedive this Sabbath, thanks to an unexpected inquiry from the congregation. As Thompson...

Greek-speaking Widow Leaves 1-Star Review For Early Church Potluck

Jerusalem - Sister Demetria, a Greek-speaking widow, has sent shockwaves through the early Christian community by leaving a scathing one-star review of a recent...

Ways To Ruin a Tofu Potluck Dish

Tofu dishes can work out great for potluck, but let's face it – given a tight pre-Sabbath Friday afternoon even the best of us...

Potluck Miraculously Solves Adventist Differences

SLURP, Mich. — In a groundbreaking study conducted by the Institute of Adventist Quirks and Quibbles (IAQQ), researchers have found that the vast majority...

British Union Conference Plans to Expose Churches With Worst Potlucks

WATFORD, England —The British Union Conference of the Seventh-day Adventists has set its sights on a matter of utmost importance: lackluster potlucks. In an...