Adventist College Kid Picking Church Fully Based On Quality of Potluck

In a move that has surprised absolutely no one familiar with Adventist church culture, local Adventist university student Jason Frimbly has based his entire church home decision on one key factor Read more […]

Adventist Who Claims “Calories Don’t Count on Sabbath” Not Exactly Counting Them Any Other Day Either

Riverside, Calif. – Local church member Brian Lendell is facing scrutiny after making his signature “calories don’t count on Sabbath” claim once again at last week’s potluck. According to multiple Read more […]

Member Who Brought Actual Chicken to Church Potluck Suddenly VIP

At Eden Springs Adventist Church’s potluck, local church pianist Kay F Cee’s decision to break the vegetarian tradition by bringing actual chicken won her a lot of friends this Sabbath. As Read more […]

End Times Sermon Interrupted by Member Asking if Potluck is Still On

Pastor Bartholomew Thompson’s sermon on the impending apocalypse took a dramatic nosedive this Sabbath, thanks to an unexpected inquiry from the congregation. As Thompson weaved a tapestry of biblical Read more […]

Greek-speaking Widow Leaves 1-Star Review For Early Church Potluck

Jerusalem – Sister Demetria, a Greek-speaking widow, has sent shockwaves through the early Christian community by leaving a scathing one-star review of a recent church potluck. In the review Read more […]

Potluck Miraculously Solves Adventist Differences

SLURP, Mich. — In a groundbreaking study conducted by the Institute of Adventist Quirks and Quibbles (IAQQ), researchers have found that the vast majority of theological and lifestyle disagreements Read more […]

British Union Conference Plans to Expose Churches With Worst Potlucks

WATFORD, England —The British Union Conference of the Seventh-day Adventists has set its sights on a matter of utmost importance: lackluster potlucks. In an unprecedented move, the Union has Read more […]