Potluck Miraculously Solves Adventist Differences

SLURP, Mich. — In a groundbreaking study conducted by the Institute of Adventist Quirks and Quibbles (IAQQ), researchers have found that the vast majority of theological and lifestyle disagreements Read more […]

“Liberated” Congregation Resolves Never To Call Sin By Its Right Name

BREEZE, Calif. — Members of Grace Fellowship Adventist Church held a formal candle light service last Friday night, vowing publicly never to dampen the congregational vibe by calling sin by Read more […]

Literalist Men’s Retreat Ends With Everyone’s Eyes Plucked Out

The “Blind Faith” Men’s Retreat ended today with an entirely eye-less crowd of men trying to find their way out of an auditorium. Speakers at the retreat had advocated a stridently literal Read more […]

Liberal Adventist Can’t Find Revelation

Loma Linda, Calif. — Liberal Adventist, Al Riverside, has spent the last fifteen minutes at his small group meeting hunting for the book of Revelation in his freshly dusted-off paraphrase of Read more […]

Freedom-loving Adventist liberal finds traffic laws far too legalistic

PASADENA, Calif. — Self-professed liberated Seventh-day Adventist and enthusiastic road tripper, Luke Whaurme, can still remember the day when he threw out stodgy religion and all its pedantic Read more […]