UK Chancellor Says ADRA Ingathering Targets Must Rise

LONDON, United Kingdom – Britain’s Chancellor, Jeremy Hunt, warned today that virtually unprecedented inflation meant ADRA ingathering targets this year would need to be increased substantially. “Walking Read more […]

Social Media Evangelist Busted Playing Candy Crush

SILVER SPRING, Md. — TikTok native Ben Streemur was a logical recruit to the GC’s digital evangelism initiative when he finished college last summer. Graduating with a theology and marketing Read more […]

GC Delegates to Vote on Whether Adventist Haystacks Should Feature Fritos or Doritos

ST. LOUIS, Mo.— General Conference Session delegates are gearing up to vote on an issue that threatens to divide the denomination: the chips used in haystacks. Delegates are choosing between Read more […]

Re-elected Wilson Changes GC Session Theme Song to “I Shall Not Be Moved”

ST. LOUIS, Mo. — In remarks immediately following news of his re-election to a third term as General Conference President, Ted Wilson changed the 2022 GC Session theme song from “There is Read more […]

Karate Training Required For Jokester Adventist Pastors in Danger of Getting Will Smithed

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Md. — Adventist pastors prone to risqué jokes have been sent back to seminary for emergency continuing dedication. “Will Smith’s Oscars slap attack on Chris Rock made Read more […]