Sunday, November 30, 2025
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Church Life

Why Abundant Life Is Just as Important as Eternal Life (Yes, Really)

Many Adventists spend so much time thinking about eternity that they forget one small detail: this life matters too. Jesus didn’t just promise us life after death—He promised abundant life...
Adventists Speak Up

Beware of the Establishment

If you’ve ever wondered who really runs the Adventist Church, look no further than the seasoned church politicians who have been in office since the Review & Herald was...
Church Life

Adult Sabbath School Class Nearly Divides Over Piano Being Moved Two Inches to the Left

SILVER SPRING, MD — According to trembling eyewitnesses, the Adult Sabbath School class at Oakview Seventh-day Adventist Church came perilously close to a full schism last Sabbath after discovering that the...
Adventist Food

Why Your Diet Dies at Every Sabbath Potluck

Adventist potlucks were never designed for your personal wellness journey. They were designed to test your sanctification, your digestive resilience, and your ability to...
Uncategorized

Why Are Adventists So Fascinated With Freemasons? Asking for a friend with a stack of Amazing Facts DVDs.

If you’ve spent more than seven minutes in Adventist eschatology circles, you’ve probably heard at least one of the following phrases: ​“Secret societies.”​“The Illuminati.”​“Hidden handshakes.”​“That...
Adventist paranoia

Beware of Adventist Hijackers

These are the voices in our church who try to rob your peace. They tell you that you are not truly saved unless you...
Remnant Complex

Adventists, Being Right, and the Holy Gift of ‘Hmm… Maybe Not?’”

If Adventists had an official spiritual gift beyond potluck mastery, it would definitely be Being Right™. Every member has it. All at once. All the...

Adventist Culture

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How a Kinder Adventism Could Change the World

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Adventism has always dreamed big—health reform, global mission, the...

The Definitive Ranking of 28 Fundamental Adventist Potluck Staples

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Here’s the definitive ranking of 28 vegetarian Adventist potluck...

What If Adventism’s Best Days Are Still Ahead of Us?

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We love to romanticize “classic Adventism”—the Revelation Seminars with...

Ellen White and the Art of Adventist Mom Guilt

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Ellen White may have written the manual on ideal...

Adventist Food

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Little Adventist Confuses ‘Sunday Laws’ with Sunday Chores

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LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Eight-year-old Caleb Torres sent his...

Dear Sabbath, I Love You — But I Need a Nap (See You Sunday)

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Sabbath, we need to talk. You’re beautiful, holy, and full...

How to Survive an Awful Sermon (Without Losing Your Religion)

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We’ve all been there. You came to church hoping...

Why Do We Make Pastors Feel Like Losers Unless They Get “Promoted” to Conference Jobs?

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Here’s a truth many Adventists quietly acknowledge but rarely...

Sabbath Observance

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Are Adventist Schools Raising Thinkers—or Just Excellent Nodders?

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After 12 years of Adventist schooling, some of us...

Turkeys Beg Adventists: Listen to Ellen White on Vegetarianism

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In a rare joint statement released yesterday, the National...

Why Are Adventists So Into Catholic Bashing?

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If you’ve spent more than seven minutes in an...

Job Opening: Professional Dad Joke Dispenser

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BarelyAdventist is thrilled to announce an opening for the...

BarelyAdventist is a satire and humor blog focused on Adventist culture and issues. Written by committed Adventists, the goal is to foster growth within the faith community through lighthearted conversation and humor, avoiding soapboxing or angry rants. The blog is not officially endorsed by the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists.

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