Saturday, October 25, 2025
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The 7 Types of Children’s Story That Should Honestly Be a Felony By Now

Children’s story: that magical weekly moment when we gather tiny humans around the pulpit and let a well-meaning adult gamble with the entire service running time. It’s cute, it’s...

10 Things Adventists Are Actually Allowed To Brag About

1. We Make It To 100 Like It’s A Group Assignment Blue Zones keep bragging on us. We basically turned beans into a performance-enhancing drug. 2. Healthcare Is Kind Of Our...

The Crisis of Adventist Imagination

The real crisis isn’t in the world. It’s in our imagination. If every sermon, headline, and prophecy paints future darkness, we forget that “Let there be light” was the first word of creation. God...

Why Importing Adventism Doesn’t Work

Somewhere right now, a missionary is landing in a new country with a PowerPoint titled “Daniel & the End Times (With Graphics!).” And somewhere...

The Real Reason Adventism Doesn’t Grow in the West (and It’s Not Because We Don’t “Preach the Truth” Enough)

The Real Reason Adventism Doesn’t Grow in the West (and It’s Not Because We Don’t “Preach the Truth” Enough) Every time someone asks why Adventism...

Pete Hegseth Crashes Annual Council: “No More Fat Church Leaders Preaching the Health Message”

SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a surprise appearance that left GC delegates choking on their haystacks, newly minted Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth stormed...

Why the Adventist Church Is Losing Its Best Minds—and How We Can Win Them Back

The Adventist Church isn’t losing its best minds because people don’t love Jesus. We’re losing them because the moment someone starts thinking deeply, we make...

Adventist Culture

When God Doesn’t Fit in Your 28 Beliefs

You know that moment when you realize the universe...

How Ready Are You for the Time of Trouble? (Take This Quiz to Find Out!)

So you’ve heard about the Time of Trouble your...

Dear Adventist Clock Watchers: We See You

We see you. Every Sabbath. You think you’re being...

Adventist Food

What Kind of Adventist Are You?

Every Adventist church has these folks. The question is:...

SATIRE: FCC Yanks Amazing Facts Off the Air for “Offensive Predictions”

SACRAMENTO, CA — The FCC announced today that Amazing...

Sabbath Observance

When Perfectionism Becomes Our Biggest Sin

Adventists have always been world-class overachievers. We don’t just...

7 Unspoken Rules Every Adventist Knows (But No One Ever Wrote Down)

7 Unspoken Rules Every Adventist Knows (But No One...

Why Adventism Is Addicted to Fear — and How We Can Finally Detox

Fear built the Adventist brand. Love will have to rebuild...

Sabbath Was Never Supposed to Be This Boring

The Sabbath wasn’t designed to drain life out of...