Joy can be found in many things, in many places.
These are not those things. These are not those places. Read more [...]Category: Adventist Food
Picture This: 11 Adventist Buzzkills
Joy can be found in many things, in many places.
These are not those things. These are not those places. Read more [...] 
Adventist Cat Busted For Eating Unclean Mouse
Adventist-owned cat Fluffy succumbed to temptation last Sabbath when he spotted a mouse dart across the garage. Reacting instinctively, Fluffy pounced on the mouse and was busy polishing off Read more […]
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Pews Reinforced To Account For Coronavirus Overeating
ADVENTIST WORLD — Pews across Adventism are being retrofitted with supports to be able to handle substantially heavier members that have spent the coronavirus crisis overeating. Use with caution. Denominational Read more […]
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Ben Carson Begs Adventists To Stop Panic Buying Stripples
Cool it. WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson has a special message for Adventists during the coronavirus crisis. The Adventist member of President Trump’s cabinet asked his Read more […]
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Revealed: Daniel And Three Friends Rejected Nebuchadnezzar’s Food To Feast On Haystacks
ANCIENT BABYLON — Earlier today, the Biblical Research Institute unveiled findings regarding the special diet of Daniel and his three friends after they asked to be excused from eating Nebuchadnezzar’s Read more […]
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NEWSTART Enthusiast To Start New Life (After Holidays)
ADVENTIST WORLD — Rez Allusion, a middle-aged Pathfinder club director who packed on a few too many over Thanksgiving, has vowed to start faithfully abiding by NEWSTART health principles as Read more […]
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Loma Linda Releases “Nothing Is Impossible Burger”
LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Loma Linda University nutritionists launched the Nothing Is Impossible Burger earlier today in a bid to “reassert Adventist veggie product mojo” in an increasingly crowded Read more […]
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Loma Linda Blue Zoner Busted Eating Cheeseburger
Loma Linda, Calif. — Bill Worthington, one of the faces of the Loma Linda Blue Zone, was busted by veggie cops yesterday as he was devouring a cheeseburger for the very first time. Read more […]
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Conveyor Belts To Speed Up Adventist Potluck Lines
ADVENTIST WORLD – Sabbath potlucks will never be the same again. In response to decades of complaints from Adventists about potluck line wait times, the denomination has made the decision Read more […]
