
US Army Stocks Up On Deadly Mustard
PENTAGON — In an effort to modernize its arsenal, the US Military has placed a gargantuan order of deadly mustard. “I guarantee our enemies have never thought of this simple but lethal Read more […]
PENTAGON — In an effort to modernize its arsenal, the US Military has placed a gargantuan order of deadly mustard. “I guarantee our enemies have never thought of this simple but lethal Read more […]
BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — According to the Andrews University Dietetics Department, the greatest source of shame in the Adventist experience is the prospect of leaving a potluck with a dish you Read more […]
Adventist-owned cat Fluffy succumbed to temptation last Sabbath when he spotted a mouse dart across the garage. Reacting instinctively, Fluffy pounced on the mouse and was busy polishing off Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD — Pews across Adventism are being retrofitted with supports to be able to handle substantially heavier members that have spent the coronavirus crisis overeating. Use with caution. Denominational Read more […]
Cool it. WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson has a special message for Adventists during the coronavirus crisis. The Adventist member of President Trump’s cabinet asked his Read more […]
ANCIENT BABYLON — Earlier today, the Biblical Research Institute unveiled findings regarding the special diet of Daniel and his three friends after they asked to be excused from eating Nebuchadnezzar’s Read more […]
LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Loma Linda University nutritionists launched the Nothing Is Impossible Burger earlier today in a bid to “reassert Adventist veggie product mojo” in an increasingly crowded Read more […]
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