SILVER SPRING, Md. – In what is shaping up to be the most contentious issue at this year’s Annual Council meetings, delegates from around the world will vote on the decades-old debate of whether Ghanaian or Nigerian Adventists make the superior jollof rice.
“This is a matter of utmost importance that has divided our global church family for far too long,” said Ted N.C. Wilson, president of the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists. “We cannot move forward as a unified body until this jollof rice controversy is finally settled by a vote of the world church representatives.”
The proposed agenda item has already sparked heated exchanges in committee meetings, with shouting matches breaking out between the Ghanaian and Nigerian contingents.
“Our jollof is the original and cannot be replicated,” said a passionate delegate from Accra.
A delegate from Lagos quickly fired back, “You’re just jealous our jollof packs more spice and flavor than your bland basic version. We made seasonings!”
Anticipating a raucous debate on the issue, Annual Council organizers have asked all delegates to submit any rice cookers, spice grinders or other culinary armaments at the door to avoid a food fight breaking out.
Security staff was also overheard discussing setting up a U.N-style partition to separate the Nigerian and Ghanaian blocs during the jollof rice proceedings.
The proceedings are certain to run long, as each delegation is expected to enter into evidence numerous industrially-sized pots of jollof rice for the judging panels to sample as Exhibit A proof of their version’s superiority.
When reached for comment, world church leadership admitted this issue was probably more divisive than any doctrinal or theological agenda items up for discussion. “We could likely resolve the entire issue of compliance quicker than deciding this jollof rice battle, but this is simply something we can no longer ignore,” one world church VP sighed.
Image: Wikipedia – Joloff Rice – Author: Noahalorwu
SPONSORED LINKS
.
Share this:
po8xoa
xpe16d