Berrien Woman Claims To-Do List Magically Expands on Fridays

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BERRIEN COUNTY, MI – For Mildred Tibbles of Berrien County, preparing for the Sabbath has become a weekly battle against an invisible, and some might say, malevolent force: her ever-expanding to-do list. What starts with a noble intention to create a peaceful and restful holy day quickly descends into a cleaning frenzy of epic proportions.

“It’s like the list itself is determined to multiply like the fish and the loaves,” Ms. Tibbles sighs, brandishing a now-frighteningly long document that began with a simple “Polish silver.” “One minute it’s dusting, the next it’s a full-blown spring clean, a three-course feast with enough challah to feed a small army, and somehow, reorganizing the spice rack has become a pre-sunset must.”

Neighbors report witnessing Ms. Tibbles scaling ladders with feather dusters, scrubbing baseboards with the fervor of a biblical prophet, and muttering dire threats about dust bunnies under her breath. Dr. Anna Schmidt, a local therapist, offers a more clinical perspective.

“Pre-Sabbath stress can be a real phenomenon,” Dr. Schmidt explains. “The desire to create a perfect environment for reflection and rest can lead to a feeling of needing to overcompensate through cleaning. It’s important to find a balance between creating a peaceful space and enjoying the day itself.”

Ms. Tibbles, however, seems locked in a personal holy war against dust mites and unpolished furniture. Undeterred by psychological explanations, she remains convinced of a supernatural element. “Balance, schmalance,” she declares, wielding a bottle of all-purpose cleaner like a holy weapon. “This list is a test of my faith, and by the power of bleach and elbow grease, it will be vanquished!”

 


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