Entire Pacific Union College Faculty Living in Van Down by the River

ANGWIN, CA – It has been revealed that the entire faculty of Pacific Union College has taken up residence in a fleet of vans parked along the Napa River, citing the increasingly exorbitant cost Read more […]

Our Goal is to Make Every Adventist Laugh

Here at BarelyAdventist, we’re on a mission to bring more laughter and joy into the lives of Adventists everywhere. Why? Because humor is potent medicine for the mind, body, and soul.  Laughter Read more […]

Pastor Claims He is Unequally Yoked to Wife Who is Quitting Nursing

BERRIEN SPRINGS, MI – Local pastor Robert Eyer declared himself to be “unequally yoked” with his wife Denise after she revealed plans to leave her nursing career after 15 years to pursue her dream Read more […]

Plane Full of Teetotaling Adventists Assumed to be Alcoholics

A plane full of teetotaling Seventh-day Adventists returning from an extreme church building mission trip in the Dominican Republic was assumed to be carrying a rowdy bunch of alcoholics by the Read more […]

10 Reactions You Get When You Say You Are Seventh-day Adventist

1. The Cult Crusader: “Wait, Seventh-day Adventist? Isn’t that a cult?” They immediately start searching for the nearest exit, fearing you might try to indoctrinate them into your secret society Read more […]

GC Announces Plans to Distribute 1 Billion 28 Fundamentals VHS Tapes Globally

In a move that left members speechless, the GC unveiled a bold new initiative this morning: “Operation Saturation: 28 Fundamentals on a Billion Tapes!” Yes, you read that right. A billion. VHS tapes. Apparently, Read more […]

Pastor Disciplined for Holding Baptismal Candidates Underwater Too Long

Pastor Jeb was known for his long-winded baptismal services at the Dry Gulch Adventist Church. Whenever he baptized someone, Jeb liked to add his own personal flair by delivering an extended benediction Read more […]

7 Reasons Adventist Men Should Sport a Barong Tagalog

Forget the same-old Sabbath outfit, BarelyAdventist bros! It’s time to ditch the yawn-inducing threads and embrace something that’ll have you looking sharp and feeling comfortable all service long. Read more […]

Michigan Conference Pastors to Name Check Anyone Sleeping in Church

In a controversial move aimed at combating disengaged congregants, the Michigan Conference of Seventh-day Adventists has instituted a new policy allowing pastors to publicly call out any members Read more […]

Extreme Voices Are Tearing Adventists Apart – Help BarelyAdventist Stop Them

Hi there, fellow Adventists! This is Sevvy, the somewhat eccentric but always entertaining founder and main word-slinger of BarelyAdventist. Let’s be real, folks – these days, it seems like Read more […]