MYSTERIOUS: Local Member Always Out Of Town For Scheduled Church Work Bees

Joe Peresoso has an impeccable talent for conveniently being out of town whenever work bees are scheduled at Dusty Shelf SDA. The word around church is this elusive member has a travel excuse Read more […]

Here’s How You Can Help BarelyAdventist Grow

Hi Everyone! Sevvy, the founder of BarelyAdventist here. I want to thank all of you for your amazing support over the years. Early next year, BA turns 10 years old. It’s quite a milestone!  From Read more […]

You Might Be a Conservative Adventist If…

You might be a conservative Adventist if: You never miss a vespers. Your idea of a wild Friday night is inviting friends over to read Ellen White’s writings aloud. After vespers, of course. You Read more […]

Headstrong Member Crushed to Hear Church Has Room For Guy That Doesn’t Agree With Him

In a stunning blow to his ego, super-opinionated church member Chad Righteous was devastated to hear that his church has room for a guy that doesn’t agree with his theology. “I’m literally Read more […]

Underpaid Church Employee Sick of Hearing His Treasure is in Heaven

Timothy, who has faithfully served as the church’s youth pastor for over a decade, is now lamenting his earthly situation and wishing for some tangible benefits to go along with his eternal rewards. “I Read more […]

Congregation Sure Pastor Just Adlibbed Entire Sermon

Members of Windy Road SDA silently took to texting each other 35 minutes into their pastor’s sermon this Sabbath as it became painfully clear that he hadn’t done an ounce of prep for his remarks. Pastor Read more […]

Church Leader Shuts Down Discussion, Reminds Everyone He’s “The Lord’s Anointed”

In an impassioned call to delegates at a recent church leadership meeting, Ned Olsen called for everyone to cease discussion, embrace “unity” and vote conscientiously according to his views Read more […]

Kid Optimistically Asks For Seventh Time if Sermon Almost Over

  At Droneville SDA young Timmy’s patience wore thin as the sermon dragged on for what felt like an eternity. Pastor Snoreworth’s droning was enough to test anyone’s resolve. Timmy Read more […]