BOSTON, Mass. — An Adventist runner was disqualified from the Boston Marathon this year after refusing to pin his race bib to his shirt, citing the book of Leviticus. Silas Goodwin, a 42-year-old Read more […]
It all began innocently enough when both Sam and Lily Thompson stumbled into their kitchen and found themselves knee-deep in a festive seven-layered mess of plates and forks left behind by church Read more […]
Jeff Larson has revealed that his disdain for “cheap grace” extends far beyond its superficial ease. According to sources close to the piously particular parishioner, Larson isn’t particularly Read more […]
While exhibiting numerous other spiritual shortcomings on a daily basis, local Adventist Blake Hemsley reportedly patted himself on the back this week for successfully not coveting his neighbor Read more […]
Perfect love drives out all fear but for some reason, a lot of us Adventists seem to actually be afraid of God. Not in the “fear God” sense where “fear” means “respect.” Nope, many Read more […]
Brother Jebediah “Jeb”ediah Finch, a pillar of the Tightly-Laced Tabernacle Seventh-day Adventist Church, is feeling optimistic. No, not about the price of avocados (although, that is rough). Jeb Read more […]
A self-professed Bible scholar and occasional Wilderness SDA usher known locally as “Rock-Hurling Randy” is convinced that society has gone astray from its righteous roots and is determined Read more […]
BREAKING NEWS: Legalists across the Adventist world were rushed to hospital today after sustaining panic attacks at the unwelcome report from leading denominational theologians that non-Adventists Read more […]
BUTTONED UP, Tenn. — Last Generation theologian, Solo Opera, took a break from his prophetic timeline charts this afternoon, to take a 30-minute standardized holiness test. Opera was hugely Read more […]
Alphabet Lane, Calif. – Over the last month Pastor Mel Eskribir has treated his frustrated flock to glaring typos in multiple emails, e-bulletins and sermon PowerPoints. Without fail, Eskribir Read more […]
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