BREAKING NEWS: Legalists across the Adventist world were rushed to hospital today after sustaining panic attacks at the unwelcome report from leading denominational theologians that non-Adventists Read more […]
Everybody already knew Stripples were good but nobody knew just how good they were for you until today. According to a recent study in the Journal Of Self-Accredited Researchers, scientists with Read more […]
HEAVEN – Construction angels have been working overtime lately as an ultra-exclusive gated community in heaven takes shape. The subdivision will only house Adventists and is being built so Read more […]
ST. JOSEPH, Mich.— Espera Tepido has prayed every day for the past year for a nice Adventist boyfriend this side of the Second Coming. The 16-year-old began making the urgent prayer Read more […]
Adventists believe in the imminent return of Jesus. If you grew up Adventist, you believed Jesus could come at any moment, but like, it was REALLY SOON. Yeah, heaven is going to blow your mind with its beyond-your-comprehension-awesomeness — you can’t wait to wrestle with lions and/or have your own pet panda — but at some point, we bet these secret yearnings crossed your mind.
HOLLAND, Mich. — Adventist luxury home developer, Chuck Todson of Todson Heavenly Homes, has started selling down payments for 7-room mansions in what he is billing “the most exclusive subdivision Read more […]