Tag:
heaven
Second Coming
Andrews Communication Dept: In Heaven You’ll Look Like Your Favorite Insta Filter
BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich—The Communication Department at Andrews University has confirmed that, upon entering Heaven, everyone will appear as their favorite Instagram filter.
“Our extensive research...
Adventist Attire
GC to Vote on Dress Code for Heaven
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference headquarters of the Seventh-day Adventist Church has announced plans to hold a special session to vote on...
Legalism
Report: Non-Adventists Going to Heaven
BREAKING NEWS: Legalists across the Adventist world were rushed to hospital today after sustaining panic attacks at the unwelcome report from leading denominational theologians...
Health Message
Adventist App Shows How Your Body Will Look In Heaven
LOMA LINDA, Calif. — ADVENTBOD, an Adventist startup based on Loma Linda University campus, promises subscribers realistic renderings of how their bodies will look...
Veganism
Scientists: Stripples WILL Get You Into Heaven
Everybody already knew Stripples were good but nobody knew just how good they were for you until today. According to a recent study in...
Peculiar People
Heaven Creates Subdivision For Adventists
HEAVEN - Construction angels have been working overtime lately as an ultra-exclusive gated community in heaven takes shape.
The subdivision will only house Adventists and...
Dating
Adventist teen prays for boyfriend before the Second Coming
ST. JOSEPH, Mich.--- Espera Tepido has prayed every day for the past year for a nice Adventist boyfriend this side of the Second Coming.
The...
Adventist Culture
Slide Show: Things Adventists secretly hope to do before Jesus comes again
Adventists believe in the imminent return of Jesus. If you grew up Adventist, you believed Jesus could come at any moment, but like, it was REALLY SOON. Yeah, heaven is going to blow your mind with its beyond-your-comprehension-awesomeness --- you can’t wait to wrestle with lions and/or have your own pet panda --- but at some point, we bet these secret yearnings crossed your mind.