Holy Connections: The Matchmaking Service for Seminarians

Calling all single seminarians with ministerial dreams and an impending job market!  The Adventist Church is introducing “Holy Connections,” the revolutionary matchmaking service designed exclusively Read more […]

Take This Quiz to Test Your Knowledge of Adventist Dating Etiquette

Test your knowledge of Adventist dating etiquette by taking our 10-question quiz: 1) What is the most important question to ask before going on a date with an Adventist? A) “What’s your favorite Read more […]

Eligible Adventist Males Declared Endangered Species

FONTAINEBLEU, France — The International Union for Conservation of Nature has made its first human addition to the list of endangered species: eligible Adventist males. The IUCN said that numbers Read more […]

iPhone 14 Updates Your Mother On Your Progress Finding Nice Adventist Date

Good news! Thanks to the wonders of over-priced technology, you mom will no longer need to ask you if you’ve found that special Adventist somebody. The iPhone 14 will simply send her a weekly Read more […]

“Fishing For Men” Single Women’s Ministries Retreat Sells Out

WATFORD, England – A frenzy of activity crashed the servers of the British Union Conference today as tickets for the Single Adventist Women’s Ministries retreat went on sale. The theme for Read more […]

Adventist “Leave Room For The Holy Spirit” Rule Catches On During Coronavirus Outbreak

WORLD — The old school Adventist rule stipulating that people dating each other should “leave room for the Holy Spirit” (keep a healthy distance from each other) has caught on all around the Read more […]

Andrews Seminarian Convinced He Is Predestined For Marriage

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Seasoned Andrews seminarian Amo Reterno, put a brave face on Valentines this year, certain that love was bound to come knocking in time for a pre-graduation engagement. Despite Read more […]