Looking for love in all the wrong pews? Fear not, lovelorn Adventist! We’ve compiled a list of pick-up lines that are so bad, they’re almost good. Use these at your own risk: 1. “Hey, is your Read more […]
HOPE SPRINGS, CA — What was meant to be a weekend of spiritual growth and potential matchmaking for Adventist singles turned into an awkward family reunion on Saturday night at the picturesque Read more […]
Southern Adventist University has issued a formal apology and sworn a blood oath never to invite back the misguided speaker who dared to promote the “gift of singleness” during a recent Week of Read more […]
Listen up, fellow BarelyAdventists. Is anyone else tired of the Adventist dating scene? The awkward silences at church functions? The endless stream of well-meaning but clueless setups? Yeah, Read more […]
BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Despite his best efforts, seminarian Ethan Thompson has discovered that employing pickup lines straight out of the Song of Solomon has led to a series of romantic misfires Read more […]
Ugh. Adventist dating is rough, y’all. Let me tell you about the month from dating hell I just escaped. Ten. Whole. Dates. And what did I get for my troubles? A sunburn from that picnic date (dude, Read more […]
The popular Adventist dating app “HeavenlyMatch.com” has fallen victim to a cyberattack, resulting in the exposure of sensitive user information. The breach, discovered last week, has left Read more […]
In a revelation that has left his fellow churchgoers both annoyed and amused, 27-year-old Adventist bachelor, Daniel McSingleton, has declared himself to be “God’s gift to humanity” due to his unique Read more […]
Berrien Springs, Mich. – Chaos erupted at Parched Ground Seventh-day Adventist Church last Sabbath when an attractive new man made a surprise appearance. The minute the well-dressed and seemingly Read more […]
Calling all single seminarians with ministerial dreams and an impending job market! The Adventist Church is introducing “Holy Connections,” the revolutionary matchmaking service designed exclusively Read more […]
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