Single Deacon Grateful to be God’s Gift to Humanity

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In a revelation that has left his fellow churchgoers both annoyed and amused, 27-year-old Adventist bachelor, Daniel McSingleton, has declared himself to be “God’s gift to humanity” due to his unique status as a deacon and the only single man in his local congregation.

While it’s no secret that the gender ratio in Adventist churches tends to favor men, Daniel’s bold claim has raised a few eyebrows in the church lobby. “I’m just stating the obvious,” he confidently asserted during a potluck dinner. “There are plenty of wonderful single Adventist women out there, but I’m like a rare gem. I’m in high demand!”

Daniel’s confidence isn’t just limited to his church attendance. He firmly believes that his unattached status is a divine blessing to the world in general. “I bring balance to the universe,” he explained. “With all these single Adventist ladies searching for their life partners, I’m here to give them hope and, well, some competition.”

Daniel has considered starting a support group for other single Adventist men to embrace their “gifted” status. He envisions meetings where they can discuss their blessed lives, hiking trails that provide the best opportunities to meet single Adventist women, and strategies for being the most eligible bachelor at the upcoming GYC conference.


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