Eligible Adventist Males Declared Endangered Species

FONTAINEBLEU, France — The International Union for Conservation of Nature has made its first human addition to the list of endangered species: eligible Adventist males. The IUCN said that numbers Read more […]

Local Church Bachelor Claims He is Too Pretty to Step Down as Greeter

VANITYVILLE, Calif. — Joe Shmugh has notified his local congregation’s nominating committee that there is “no way this side of eternity” he is stepping down from his “vital role” as Read more […]

Gender-Neutral Ministries Dept Replaces Women’s/Men’s Ministries In Swedish Union

STOCKHOLM, Sweden — Segregated men’s and women’s ministries are a thing of the past in the Swedish Adventist Church. The old departments have been thrown out in favor of what the Swedish Union Read more […]

Slacker Church Parking Volunteer Hasn’t Done Job In Months

This guy literally hasn’t done a thing in months. While he used to self-importantly stride around the church parking lot on Sabbath mornings, all he does these days is just smile and wave on Read more […]

Slide Show: #TBT — Adventists legends when they were young(ish)

It’s Throwback Thursday! Can you guess who these Adventists/Adventist-connected people are?

Woman has lowered standards enough to date that guy from church

GLENDALE, Calif. — Although it hasn’t been an easy journey getting to this point, Michelle Turner says that the next time that Ed from church asks her out, she might actually say yes. Turner Read more […]