Monday, April 21, 2025

Marriage

Kid Wonders Why Parents Have to Lock Door for “Prayer” Every Sabbath Afternoon

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Eight-year-old Timmy Holbrook is starting to ask some uncomfortable questions about his parents' Sabbath afternoon habits, sources close to the family report. The inquisitive second-grader has...

Solomon Found Crushed to Death Under Pile of 700 Marriage Yokes

JERUSALEM - In a discovery that has rocked the biblical archaeology world, researchers from Seventh-Dig Adventist University have unearthed startling evidence that appears to...

Guy Who Reminded Wife Scripture Says to Submit is Submitting to Night in Tent

Elias Uprighteous, the self-proclaimed guardian of biblical orthodoxy, found himself embroiled in a marital showdown when his wife, Rebecca, dared to question his divine...

Adventists Who Insisted They Weren’t Dating Suddenly Married

SILVER SPRING, Md. - In a move that shocked absolutely no one in the Sligo Seventh-day Adventist Church, longtime church members Jasmine Landers and...

Your Guide to Adventist Love Languages

We Adventists have our own twist on the classic love languages. Get ready to decode the secrets of Adventist affection and discover how to...

Modesty Campaigner Asks Wife To Cover Up More In Bedroom

Local Adventist modesty campaigner Matt Streihtlase didn’t anticipate the reaction he got from his wife this afternoon. All he did was bring up her...

Pastors’ Wives Win Back Pay For Years Of Unpaid Labor

FINALLY: The US Supreme Court has ruled to award Adventist pastors’ wives backpay for all the unpaid work they have done simply because of...

Adventist Husband Celebrates 24 Hours Of Being Right While Wife At Women’s Retreat

Not since his single days has Adventist business owner, Chase Lindgren, enjoyed such an uninterrupted period of flawless decision making. After his wife took...

GC Requires Wedding Bands, Admits Ringless Marriages “Super Confusing”

SILVER SPRING, Md. --- In the biggest reversal in church policy since, well, EVER, the GC is now requiring married Adventists to wear wedding...

Andrews Seminary Sells Impulse Engagement Rings

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. --- A vending machine for budget engagement rings has been installed in the front lobby of the seminary at Andrews University....

Deaconess Lives On Corner of Roof to Avoid Quarrelsome Husband

PASADENA, Calif. --- Local Adventist deaconess, Hjalp Mig, has pitched a tent on the roof of her house to get some peace and quiet...