Saturday, December 7, 2024

Pathfinders

Sleep-Deprived Adventurers Counselor Questions Whether Camp Duties Worth the Millions He’s Being Paid

PINE SPRINGS CAMP – After surviving just one night of a three-night Adventurer camp, local counselor Sam "Soggy" Shepherd is beginning to question whether the millions he’s being paid...

Summer Olympics to Include Pathfinder Fancy Drill Marching

Geneva, Switzerland - The International Olympic Committee (IOC) confirmed today that Pathfinder Fancy Drill Marching will be added as an official sport in the...

Graduates From Adventist College 93% More Likely to Insist Their Kids Earn the Cat Honor

Berrien Springs, Mich. - A new study confirms what many have long suspected - graduates of Adventist colleges and universities are 93% more likely...

Gillette Rents Out Pet Kennels as ‘Affordable Pathfinder Camporee Lodging’

GILLETTE, WY - As hotel room rates in the town of Gillette, Wyoming have skyrocketed to upwards of $900 per night for the upcoming...

Builders Counselor Doesn’t Fit His Own Wilderness Shelter

BERKSHIRE, England — In the quaint village of Binfield a group of Adventurers in Builders children gathered for a much-hyped class in wilderness survival...

Signs You’ve Been to Pathfinder Camporee

If you've ever been to a Pathfinder camporee, you know that it's an unforgettable experience that's full of fun, friendship, and adventure. Here are...

Pathfinder Hiking Honor Soars In Popularity As Nobody Can Afford to Drive

ADVENTIST WORLD — Adventists everywhere are rediscovering their Pathfinder pasts as gas prices rise to unprecedented levels. Pathfinder clubs report that Adventists have been qualifying...

Pastors’ Wives Win Back Pay For Years Of Unpaid Labor

FINALLY: The US Supreme Court has ruled to award Adventist pastors’ wives backpay for all the unpaid work they have done simply because of...

Peloton App Releases Pathfinder Fancy Drill Workout

New York, N. Y. - Fitness giant Peloton has expanded its home exercise offerings to include what it calls its “fanciest workout yet.” The Pathfinder...

Tom Cruise Made World Pathfinder Drill Sergeant

SILVER SPRING, Md. — This week, the General Conference Youth Department offered Tom Cruise the role of global Pathfinder drill sergeant after his scathing...

Pathfinder Department Bankrupt From All The Jetpack Honor Accident Lawsuits

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: SILVER SPRING, Md. --- It is with heavy hearts that we announce the bankruptcy of the Pathfinder Department exactly one week after...