ADVENTIST WORLD — Adventists everywhere are rediscovering their Pathfinder pasts as gas prices rise to unprecedented levels.
Pathfinder clubs report that Adventists have been qualifying for the Hiking honor in record times, racking up unspeakable distances on foot while leaving their cars at home.
“If all this World War III talk keeps growing I’m getting the candle making honor next,” said 45-year-old Loma Linda resident Mia Edo, looking worriedly at a prophetic chart. “Who knows how much more it will cost to keep the lights on if this continues.”
In other news, global Pathfinder leaders are developing new honors in basic and advanced nuclear bunker construction. Doug Batchelor has opposed the new honors saying a good cave is all the shelter you really need in troubled times.