Parents That ‘Can’t Afford’ Adventist Schooling For Kids Drive Off In BMW

A pair of parents who’ve been singing the “we can’t afford Adventist schooling” tune for years, were observed cruising away from church last Saturday in a sleek, brand new BMW, their new wheels Read more […]

Take This Quiz To Find The Right Adventist College For You

Take this quiz to figure out the right Adventist college for you: What’s your favorite Adventist potluck dish? Jello salad Tofurky casserole Vegan lasagna Fruit salad What’s Read more […]

15 Reasons to be Adventist

As much as it can be good to have a healthy sense of humor about your faith and avoid taking yourself too seriously, it’s also helpful to think carefully about why you’re an Adventist. Here Read more […]

La Sierra Launches In-N-Out Secret Menu Major

RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Never unwilling to push the boundaries of Adventist higher education, La Sierra University announced In-N-Out Secret Menu Studies as the latest addition to their degree offerings. As Read more […]

Biden Forgives $1M in Unpaid Parking Tickets at Adventist Colleges

UNITED STATES — Adventist college students breathed a collective sigh of relief today as the Biden administration announced unpaid parking tickets incurred at any of the denomination’s college Read more […]

Defunded Campus Security Departments Auction Off Whistles

ADVENTIST WORLD — Freshly-defunded campus security departments at Adventist institutions worldwide are holding a joint whistle auction to inject new life into their budgets. The auction Read more […]

Elon Musk To Send Student Missionaries To International Space Station

LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Following the news SpaceX has safely brought NASA astronauts to the International Space Station and back, company CEO Elon Musk has announced he will be sending up student Read more […]

Harry And Meghan Sign Up For Adventist Volunteer Services

WINDSOR, Berks. — The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have put their royal duties on hold to spend a year with Adventist Volunteer Services. Prince Harry and Meghan plan to split their time between Read more […]

Shark Tank Rejects Adventist Boarding Academy Idea As “So Last Century”

  CULVER CITY, Calif. — The investors on business pitch show “Shark Tank” have roundly rejected a pitch for what a group of ordained Adventist pastors called “An Adventist Boarding Academy.” Billionaire Read more […]

Adventist Colleges Replace Campus Security Officers With Robots

ADVENTIST WORLD — In a bold, blanket move, Adventist colleges have replaced all campus security personnel with robots. Although the initial capital outlay has forced a substantial tuition Read more […]