Biden Forgives $1M in Unpaid Parking Tickets at Adventist Colleges

UNITED STATES — Adventist college students breathed a collective sigh of relief today as the Biden administration announced unpaid parking tickets incurred at any of the denomination’s college Read more […]

GC No Longer Asking Biden For Babylon Evacuation Assistance

SILVER SPRING, Md. — After an all-day emergency meeting of the GC Executive Committee, members voted overwhelmingly to withdraw an evacuation request recently filed with the Biden administration. Soon Read more […]

Trump, Biden Commit To Singing “Kumbaya” Together At Start Of Next Debate

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After the unmitigated disaster that was the first US Presidential Debate, both President Donald Trump and Former Vice President Joe Biden have committed to a duet at the Read more […]

GC Executive Committee Letter Of Warning To Biden Over Female VP Commitment

Dear Vice President Biden, We got the news that you are planning on choosing a female running mate. This letter is our warning to you that you are heading down a slippery slope by Read more […]

Joe Biden Touts Advanced Age In Attempt To Win Over Loma Linda Centenarians

Loma Linda, Calif. — In an attempt to boost voter approval ratings in California, former US Vice President Joe Biden has been cruising around Loma Linda telling Adventist centenarians the truth Read more […]