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Satire: Sabbath School Class Reaches Actual Lesson With Four Minutes to Spare
ANYWHERE, U.S.A. A local Sabbath School class made history this week by reaching the actual lesson with four full minutes to spare, members confirmed.
The morning began as usual with...
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Satire: Local Man Reserves Entire Pew Using One Hymnal, Two Jackets and a Strategically Placed Bible
SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDWEST. A longtime member arrived 45 minutes before Sabbath School this week and successfully claimed an entire pew using one hymnal,...
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Essential and Ridiculous Haystacks Toppings, by Order of the Potluck Committee
Every church has two kinds of members: people who put the chips on the bottom, and people we are praying for.
Essential
Fritos. Tortilla chips are...
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Calories Don’t Count on the Sabbath and Other Lies We Tell Ourselves
Adventists don't lie. We just believe some very convenient things about food.
Calories don't count on the Sabbath. It's holy time, and holy time has...
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Husband Offers to Pray About the Problem He Is
Local husband Darren Pike, 47, responded to his wife's concerns on Tuesday evening by taking her hands and offering to pray about the situation....
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Is the General Conference Too Powerful?
Depends who you ask, and whether their union just lost a vote.
On paper, a General Conference session is the highest authority in the Seventh-day...
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Pastor Search Committee Seeks Spirit-Filled Shepherd, Willing to Relocate, Spouse Employed, Children Decorative
After eleven months, four seasons of prayer and one walkout over the hymnal question, the search committee has finalized its job description.
The ideal candidate...
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This Guy Came Prepared
This guy came prepared. He knew the sermon was going to be long. He wanted to be with his people—same pews, same Sabbath, same...
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Should Adventist Churches Serve Coffee on Sabbath Morning?
Should Adventist Churches Serve Coffee on Sabbath Morning?
Coffee on Sabbath morning still triggers more tension in some Adventist circles than the actual sermon.
The old...
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Trump Renames Church Seventh-day American Church, Effective Immediately
WASHINGTON — President Trump signed an executive order Thursday renaming the Seventh-day Adventist Church the Seventh-day American Church for U.S. federal use, calling the...
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Should Women be Ordained as Adventist Pastors?
The Seventh-day Adventist Church has wrestled with women’s ordination for decades. At the 1990 General Conference Session in Indianapolis, delegates voted against approving the...