Adventist Art
Larger foliage to cover all Adventist Adam & Eve art
SILVER SPRING, Md. --- A 12-month effort to overhaul Adventist Adam and Eve art begins this week due to what church leaders are calling "pervasive foliage insufficiency." In addition...
Adventist Art
Administrators Bulk Purchase Hair Dye to Prevent Graying Of Adventism
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Church administrators have completed a massive purchase of hair dye to be delivered by ADRA trucks to Adventist congregations around...
Adventist Art
Adventist Oscars To Celebrate Best Sermon PowerPoint Slides
SILVER SPRING, Md. - The General Conference Department of Compliant Creativity has announced the first ever Adventist Oscars ceremony.
“Rather than celebrate anything cinematic, we...
Adventist Art
GC Commissions Adam Levine’s Tattoo Artist for Beast of Revelation Illustrations
SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Immediately after Maroon 5's performance at this year's Super Bowl, the General Conference commissioned Adam Levine's tattoo artist to do...
Adventist Art
Adventist Church orders membership to dress like Ellen and James White
SILVER SPRING, Md. --- In a push to present a "unified Adventist  look" to the outside world, Adventist leaders have ordered members to dress...
Adventist Art
Adventist wins Easter Bunny Design Olympics with vegan beasts of Revelation creation
NEW YORK, N.Y. --- For the first time in the history of the International Easter Bunny Design Olympics, an Adventist has taken first place.
Roger...
Adventist Art
GC orders Adventist film festival to provide seating for guardian angels
SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Just over a week away from the April 6-8 SONscreen film festival, General Conference overlords have ordered event organizers to...
Adventist Art
GC bans Genesis Creation account for excessive nudity
SILVER SPRING, Md. --- General Conference leaders have banned pastors from referencing the Genesis Creation account after determining that the story contained an "unacceptable...
Adventist Art
Adventist Church changes logo in solidarity with Orlando victims
SILVER SPRING, Md. --- As vigils for the Orlando shooting victims are held across the United States and the world, individuals and organizations are...
Adventist Art
Adventist chart wins Guinness World Record for “Most Confusing Illustration”
LONDON, England --- The Seventh-day Adventist Church has set a fresh Guinness World Record for Most Confusing Illustration. Guinness spokesperson Naka Lilito said that the...
Adventist Art
Homeland Security orders Adventist Church to change “arson-friendly” flame logo
WASHINGTON, D.C. --- Seventh-day Adventist designers have been sent back to the drawing board after the United States Department of Homeland Security ordered edits...