Karate Training Required For Jokester Adventist Pastors in Danger of Getting Will Smithed

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Md. — Adventist pastors prone to risqué jokes have been sent back to seminary for emergency continuing dedication. “Will Smith’s Oscars slap attack on Chris Rock made Read more […]

Adventist Oscars To Celebrate Best Sermon PowerPoint Slides

SILVER SPRING, Md. – The General Conference Department of Compliant Creativity has announced the first ever Adventist Oscars ceremony.  “Rather than celebrate anything cinematic, we will Read more […]

False prophets predicting Oscar winners

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference headquarters of the Adventist Church has sent out a special warning to its membership about false prophets that are predicting Oscar winners this year. “There Read more […]

Adventist filmmakers threaten to boycott Oscars after getting no nominations. Ever.

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Seventh-day Adventist filmmakers have announced their plans to boycott the Feb 26, 2016 Oscars Ceremony. The filmmakers explained that the decision not to attend the Academy Read more […]