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Adventist filmmakers threaten to boycott Oscars after getting no nominations. Ever.

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HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Seventh-day Adventist filmmakers have announced their plans to boycott the Feb 26, 2016 Oscars Ceremony. The filmmakers explained that the decision not to attend the Academy Awards stemmed from the fact that Adventist filmmakers have never, in the history of the show, been nominated for an Oscar.

The Adventist boycott follows quickly on the heels of widely-publicized appeals by a number of actors to boycott the awards ceremony over consistent lack of ethnic diversity in Oscar nominees.

The initial call, supported by numerous A-list celebrities, garnered a definite reaction from the Academy which promised to double minority and female membership in the Academy by 2020 as well as adding three seats to the Academy’s board of governors to increase diversity in leadership.

In response to the Adventist boycott threat, Academy spokesperson Max Contrition said “Who?”

Contrition added that he had never heard of the Adventists’ feature-length drama about the Kellogg brothers’ rivalry or their nuanced documentaries on the origins of Linkettes.

“Listen, I didn’t even know these guys were invited,” said Contrition, adding that he had little time to look into their grievances. “Their section of five nosebleed seats may just have to remain empty.”

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