ANCIENT MESOPOTAMIA – Earlier today — just as Noah and his family members were about to put what they assumed were the final touches on the construction of the ark — they were visited by a Read more […]
Silver Spring, MD – In commemoration of the 30th anniversary of the Waco tragedy, the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists has issued a statement urging members not to question its authority. “The Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, MD – In response to growing concerns about the influence of LGBT+ individuals within the Adventist Church, the General Conference has announced the formation of a new task force aimed Read more […]
COMPLAINT FOR UNAUTHORIZED USE OF TRADEMARKED PHRASE “HIGHEST AUTHORITY ON EARTH” FILED BY GC AGAINST VATICAN Plaintiff, General Conference of over-traveled executives, brings this action against Read more […]
Pastor Sasha Gunjević of Hamburg-Grindelberg Adventist Church has made international Adventist headlines lately for sporting non-regulation socks during his sermons. The pastor is the first Adventist Read more […]
The General Conference has gone on a hiring spree and is forming 13 new “essential” departments. Here they are! Commission on Adventist Beard Grooming: Regulating the length and style Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a move that has Adventists everywhere scratching their heads, the General Conference has announced the creation of a new layer of bureaucracy to add to the already labyrinthine Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference building is undergoing major refurbishment after HR finally stated the obvious: employees are so old the place should just be a nursing home. As Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, MD. — This week Starbucks launched a new line of drinkware in Silver Spring, Maryland. Instead of branding mugs with the name of the city, the coffee giant decided instead to Read more […]
ST. LOUIS, Mo. — For the first time in history, a female has been elected president of the General Conference. Little Debbie won the position by a landslide vote of nominating committee Read more […]
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