Due to what General Conference Session organizers termed “post-COVID space considerations” the upcoming meetings will not feature seating or yellow vote cards for supporters of women’s Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. – Later today, General Conference leaders will be voting on the hotly-debated topic of where in the HQ’s parking lot to gather at the time of the Second Coming. So far nobody Read more […]
In a bid to diversify its programming, Comedy Central has signed retiring General Conference Executive Secretary, GT Ng. Known as the funniest Adventist alive, the Singaporean will host Committee Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. – With news that one of US President Joe Biden’s dogs was being removed from the White House over a biting incident involving White House security, the General Conference of Seventh-day Read more […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Foolproof voting tech guaranteed to prevent any kind of foul play or delay in results has been identified to rescue the US general election from voter fraud. The General Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The traditional ivory white sheet cake at the annual gathering of Adventist Heritage Enthusiasts was dispensed with this year due to the difficulty of sharing cake via Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The entire Adventist world is fighting back tears at the news that the denomination’s defining event – Potluck Olympics – has been cancelled due to the coronavirus Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — 7-Eleven stores in the Silver Spring area have run out of application forms after being flooded by employment requests from GC officials worried about their re-election Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference announced this morning that the ordination eligibility of rapper-turned-gospel-star, Kanye West, would be placed on the agenda for next summer’s GC Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — A special all-male committee of GC executives has been asked to write a position statement on whether pets get to go to heaven. Although the Bible will be consulted, Read more […]
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