Academic Freedom
Neuralink Places Ted Wilson Chip in All GC Employee Brains To Improve Compliance
Silver Spring, Md. — General Conference President Ted Wilson has taken steps to ensure his vision remains unchallenged by implanting Neuralink chips in the brains of all GC employees....
Religious Liberty
GC Religious Liberty Department Flags Lack Of Religious Liberty at GC
SILVER SPRING, Md. — “I may not have a job after what I say today,” started General Conference Public Affairs and Religious Liberty spokesperson,...
Religious Liberty
GC Launches “Inquisition 2.0”
SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Citing "powerful inspiration from religious history" the General Conference has launched what it calls the Inquisition 2.0.
The new effort will comprise...
Adventist Culture
GC Bans Religious Liberty
SILVER SPRING, Md. --- In a statement released this morning, the General Conference has banned religious liberty among church employees and has strongly discouraged...
Religious Liberty
GC celebrates 500th anniversary of Reformation by silencing dissent
SILVER SPRING, Md. --- The General Conference headquarters of the Adventist Church celebrated the 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation by putting unprecedented effort...
Religious Liberty
Trump deports entirety of Adventist Religious Liberty department to Sweden
WASHINGTON, D.C. --- Without so much as a 24-hour warning, US President Donald Trump has deported the entire staff of the Silver Spring, Maryland-based...
Religious Liberty
Trump demands to see Ted Wilson’s birth certificate
WASHINGTON, D.C. --- US President Donald Trump demanded this afternoon that Maryland-born General Conference President Ted Wilson produce his birth certificate.
Trump claimed that he...
Religious Liberty
Trump to follow ‘Muslim Ban’ with ‘Adventist Ban’
WASHINGTON, D.C. --- The newly-minted Trump administration has announced that it will follow its widely-criticized "Muslim Ban" with what it is calling an "Adventist...
Prophecy
NAD leadership pulled over for speeding north
BREAKING NEWS
SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Police in Silver Spring have pulled over a U-Haul full of North American Division leaders for speeding.
Asked where they...
Philippines
Philippine President Duterte’s Seventh-day Adventist membership application in character review process
MANILA, Philippines --- An application for membership in the Seventh-day Adventist Church has been submitted by newly-elected Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte. The church has...
Adventist Prophesy
Adventist headquarters to move to undisclosed cave if Trump wins
SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Senior leaders at the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists are reviewing a list of secret locations to which staff and...