Sawtooth, Tenn. – Conspiracy theorist and self-proclaimed health message expert Soy Lent claims to have uncovered a secret plot by the Illuminati to undermine the Adventist health message through Read more […]
Pastor Woke Feelgood of the Progressive Pines Adventist Church has declared the long-standing Adventist doctrine of the Investigative Judgment to be “too judgmental” and “not inclusive enough.” “We Read more […]
Local Adventist evangelist Pastor Jim Prophecy was reportedly left in a state of disbelief yesterday after accidentally opening his Bible to the book of Ruth during a sermon preparation session. “I Read more […]
In an attempt to combat dwindling attendance at their annual summer evangelism series, the Cooler Springs Seventh-day Adventist Church has taken a bold new approach. This year’s series, traditionally Read more […]
1. The sermon illustrations use more beasts from Revelation than stories about Jesus. 2. Instead of a children’s story, the kids get a “little horn” craft. 3. You start seeing symbolic Read more […]
Local Preacher Brother Bartholomew Brightside has once again captured headlines with his bold pronouncement that Jesus Christ will be returning to Earth before Christmas. However, this year’s prediction Read more […]
GRANITE BAY, Calif. — Television and internet ministry Amazing Facts is looking to hire an illustrator that can draw “Marvel-Studios-scary beasts.” The ministry said it was looking for Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — After an all-day emergency meeting of the GC Executive Committee, members voted overwhelmingly to withdraw an evacuation request recently filed with the Biden administration. Soon Read more […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Hours ago, the US Senate confirmed Judge Amy Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court in a victory for Adventist prophecy seminars everywhere. The 48-year-old Roman Catholic Read more […]
ROME, Italy — The Statue Preservation Association released a statement today announcing an imminent threat to another statue. “This time the statue slated for toppling doesn’t depict a Read more […]
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