GC No Longer Asking Biden For Babylon Evacuation Assistance

SILVER SPRING, Md. — After an all-day emergency meeting of the GC Executive Committee, members voted overwhelmingly to withdraw an evacuation request recently filed with the Biden administration. Soon Read more […]

Amy Coney Barrett Confirmed As Fodder For Future Prophecy Seminars

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Hours ago, the US Senate confirmed Judge Amy Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court in a victory for Adventist prophecy seminars everywhere. The 48-year-old Roman Catholic Read more […]

Takeaway From Distracted Evangelistic Campaign Attendee: Miller Lites Were Greatly Disappointing In 1844

Image credit: MobiusDaXter – File:Kenworth United Beverage HTS-30D pic5.jpg RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Interviewed immediately after attending an Adventist online evangelistic campaign from his living Read more […]

Loma Linda Boot Camp Makes You Run Like It’s The Time Of Trouble

  LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Inland Empire residents looking to get in shape for the new year need look no further than a Loma Linda University boot camp that forces participants to run like Read more […]