LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Local Adventist Joe Reverent was giving a stirring sermon on the imminent end times when the ground began to tremble. Congregants, already on edge from Joe’s vivid descriptions Read more […]
BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich—The Communication Department at Andrews University has confirmed that, upon entering Heaven, everyone will appear as their favorite Instagram filter. “Our extensive Read more […]
Local Preacher Brother Bartholomew Brightside has once again captured headlines with his bold pronouncement that Jesus Christ will be returning to Earth before Christmas. However, this year’s prediction Read more […]
Loma Linda, Calif. – In a stunning display of faith and fiscal desperation, a local medical student at Loma Linda University, John Stethoscope, has been caught on camera fervently praying for Read more […]
BERKSHIRE, England — A Newbold Church committee meeting (still in session) has just set a Guinness Record for the longest meeting on record. The committee was originally called to discuss Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference leadership of the church has warned members not to plan on booking an Uber to escape to the wilderness in the Time of Trouble. “Not only will Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD — The wait will soon be over for Walter Veith fans that need clarity on the approximate date of Christ’s Second Coming. The internet ministry personality promises to reveal Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — There’s a twist to General Conference plans to distribute a billion copies of The Great Controversy. “We could just have emailed a billion PDFs to people but we aren’t Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. – Later today, General Conference leaders will be voting on the hotly-debated topic of where in the HQ’s parking lot to gather at the time of the Second Coming. So far nobody Read more […]
PORTLAND, Ore. — Adventists in the Pacfic Northwest have done their honest part to point out that local Evangelical, Agah Peh, widely assumed to have been raptured yesterday, had simply been snatched Read more […]
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