Loma Linda, Calif. – In a stunning display of faith and fiscal desperation, a local medical student at Loma Linda University, John Stethoscope, has been caught on camera fervently praying for the Second Coming of Christ before he has to face the ominous burden of repaying his hefty school loans.
Sources report that John, sporting a stethoscope as an accessory even outside the hospital, was spotted kneeling in the middle of the campus quad, his eyes closed tightly, and his palms clenched together. Observers couldn’t help but overhear snippets of his heartfelt plea.
“Oh Lord, if you could just make the sky split open and usher in the Second Coming, like, before loan repayment begins,” John implored, “I promise to use my medical skills to heal the sick and the wounded during the End Times. Just, uh, forgive my student debt, okay?”
As John’s heartfelt prayer continues to go viral on social media, it remains to be seen whether divine intervention or clever financial planning will save him from the looming specter of student debt. In the meantime, John has requested that well-wishers send thoughts, prayers, and cash directly to his PayPal account, which has the memo “In case of Second Coming, this will be refunded.”
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