Saturday, December 7, 2024
Tag:

Trump

Trump Promises To Build Wall Around Adventist Subdivision In Heaven

WASHINGTON, D.C. --- As Election Day looms, the Trump and Biden campaigns are appealing to voters of all stripes in an attempt to woo...

Trump Considering Presidential Pardon For Carob Chip Cookie Creator

WASHINGTON, D.C. —- President Donald Trump is considering issuing a highly controversial pardon for Degu Tant, the infamous creator of the carob chip cookie. Tant...

Trump, Biden Commit To Singing “Kumbaya” Together At Start Of Next Debate

WASHINGTON, D.C. --- After the unmitigated disaster that was the first US Presidential Debate, both President Donald Trump and Former Vice President Joe Biden...

Adventists: “Raptured” Evangelical Really Just Snatched By Federal Agents

PORTLAND, Ore. --- Adventists in the Pacfic Northwest have done their honest part to point out that local Evangelical, Agah Peh, widely assumed to...

Trump promises to slash price of haystacks guac/salsa in half with US-Mexico trade deal

WASHINGTON, D.C. --- President Donald Trump hailed an "incredible" new trade deal with Mexico today and surprised Adventists, in particular, by saying that the...

Carson: “Cruz’s non-endorsement of Trump is biggest insult since GC rejected Women’s Ordination”

CLEVELAND, Ohio --- Former presidential candidate Ben Carson had strong words to describe Ted Cruz's refusal to endorse Donald Trump for president yesterday. "Cruz's non-endorsement...

Trump cheers “terrific” Brexit, wants to invest in Newbold College

BERKSHIRE, England --- In a surprise visit hours before arriving in Scotland for the opening of the Trump Turnberry golf resort, Donald Trump toured...

Trump to ban Adventists from outsourcing baptisms to other countries

NEW YORK, N.Y. --- In a rare policy speech this morning, presumptive Republican nominee Donald Trump vowed to stop the Seventh-day Adventist Church from...