Trump Attacks China With Choice EGW Quotes
UN TV WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump has used a brand new weapon in his ongoing war of words and trade with China: Ellen G. White quotations. Trump prefaced his recent UN General Read more […]
Category: Trump
Trump Promises To Build Wall Around Adventist Subdivision In Heaven
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As Election Day looms, the Trump and Biden campaigns are appealing to voters of all stripes in an attempt to woo them. Both candidates are scraping the barrel when it comes to Read more […]
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GC San Antonio Voting Tech To Rescue US Election
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Foolproof voting tech guaranteed to prevent any kind of foul play or delay in results has been identified to rescue the US general election from voter fraud. The General Read more […]
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Supreme Court Rules Trump Must Produce Tithing Receipts
WASHINGTON, D.C. — US Supreme Court justices have unanimously ruled President Donald Trump needs to come clean on his tithing records. In the decision, justices insisted they want to see Read more […]
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Trump Eating Nothing But Haystacks To Boost Coronavirus Resistance
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Reporters at today’s White House press briefing were notified that President Donald Trump has taken to exclusively eating haystacks to boost his resistance to COVID-19 infection. In Read more […]
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Worship Committee Votes To Impeach Church Drummer
WASHINGTON, D.C. — This evening the Worship Committee of Joyful House Fellowship voted to impeach the congregation’s senior drummer, Des Masiado. The vote brought to a close a months-long Read more […]
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Trump Cancels Halloween After Hearing Adventist Case For Harvest Festivals
USA – Halloween is canceled. President Trump issued an executive order nixing the holiday after hearing enough Adventists make the case for Harvest Festivals. Instead of dressing up in scary costumes Read more […]
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Trump Tasks Maranatha Volunteers With Developing Greenland
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Right on the heels of expressing an interest in “buying” Greenland, US President Donald Trump has asked Adventist volunteer building organization, Maranatha, to develop the Read more […]
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Trump Goes Home To Ancestral German Village
WASHINGTON, D.C. — White House staff have confirmed that US President Donald Trump has left the United States for Bobenheim am Berg, a village in the Palatinate, Germany, to which his paternal Read more […]
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Trump Calls On America To “Give Big Franks A Try On The 4th Of July”
WASHINGTON DC – US President Donald Trump used his much anticipated 4th of July address to call for unity and reform in how America eats on Independence Day. Speaking above the roar Read more […]
