Trump
Trump Dons High-Vis Vest, Vows to ‘Clean Up Tremendous Piles of Great Controversy Books’ From American Cities”
In a dramatic campaign appearance that left Adventist leaders scrambling for response, former President Donald Trump appeared at a Wisconsin rally wearing a fluorescent safety vest and promised to...
Trump
Trump Insists on ‘Haystack-Building’ Competition to Demonstrate Problem-Solving Skills in Presidential Debate
In a move that has left both political pundits and culinary enthusiasts hungrier, former President Donald Trump has insisted that the upcoming presidential debate...
Trump
Trump Promises To Build Wall Around Adventist Subdivision In Heaven
WASHINGTON, D.C. --- As Election Day looms, the Trump and Biden campaigns are appealing to voters of all stripes in an attempt to woo...
End Times
Trump Claims US is Going to Hell, Adventists Respond: ‘We Told You So’
In a recent speech, former President Donald Trump claimed that the US is "going to hell", sparking a wave of responses from Adventists who...
Biden
Church Leadership Vows Not To Give Up Positions As Easily As Trump Let Go Of His
SILVER SPRING, Md. - General Conference leaders along with their regional counterparts around the world have released a joint statement expressing disappointment at how...
Adventist Culture
Trump Attacks China With Choice EGW Quotes
WASHINGTON, D.C. --- President Donald Trump has used a brand new weapon in his ongoing war of words and trade with China: Ellen G....
General Conference
GC San Antonio Voting Tech To Rescue US Election
WASHINGTON, D.C. --- Foolproof voting tech guaranteed to prevent any kind of foul play or delay in results has been identified to rescue the...
Tithes
Supreme Court Rules Trump Must Produce Tithing Receipts
WASHINGTON, D.C. --- US Supreme Court justices have unanimously ruled President Donald Trump needs to come clean on his tithing records.
In the decision, justices...
Coronavirus
Trump Eating Nothing But Haystacks To Boost Coronavirus Resistance
WASHINGTON, D.C. --- Reporters at today's White House press briefing were notified that President Donald Trump has taken to exclusively eating haystacks to boost...
Adventist Music
Worship Committee Votes To Impeach Church Drummer
WASHINGTON, D.C. --- This evening the Worship Committee of Joyful House Fellowship voted to impeach the congregation's senior drummer, Des Masiado.
The vote brought to...
Trump
Trump Cancels Halloween After Hearing Adventist Case For Harvest Festivals
USA - Halloween is canceled. President Trump issued an executive order nixing the holiday after hearing enough Adventists make the case for Harvest Festivals.
Instead...