Trump Claims US is Going to Hell, Adventists Respond: ‘We Told You So’

In a recent speech, former President Donald Trump claimed that the US is “going to hell”, sparking a wave of responses from Adventists who believe that this is exactly what they have been predicting Read more […]

Church Leadership Vows Not To Give Up Positions As Easily As Trump Let Go Of His

SILVER SPRING, Md. – General Conference leaders along with their regional counterparts around the world have released a joint statement expressing disappointment at how little of a fight they Read more […]

Trump Promises To Build Wall Around Adventist Subdivision In Heaven

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As Election Day looms, the Trump and Biden campaigns are appealing to voters of all stripes in an attempt to woo them. Both candidates are scraping the barrel when it comes to Read more […]

Trump Eating Nothing But Haystacks To Boost Coronavirus Resistance

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Reporters at today’s White House press briefing were notified that President Donald Trump has taken to exclusively eating haystacks to boost his resistance to COVID-19 infection. In Read more […]

Trump Cancels Halloween After Hearing Adventist Case For Harvest Festivals

USA – Halloween is canceled. President Trump issued an executive order nixing the holiday after hearing enough Adventists make the case for Harvest Festivals. Instead of dressing up in scary costumes Read more […]