Thursday, May 15, 2025

End Times

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End Times

9 Signs We Are Experiencing The Shaking

Adventist conspiracy theorists are on high alert, scanning the horizon for signs of “The Shaking”—that end-time sifting where the true remnant will rise and the unfaithful will fall. But...
End Times

Biden “Committing 100%” to Adventist NEWSTART Program in Prep for Next Debate

US President Joe Biden has reportedly embraced the Seventh-day Adventist NEWSTART health program to prepare for his next debate. Following his recent debate performance...
End Times

Southern Launching End Times-Themed Tough Mudder Called “Run for the Hills”

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Southern Adventist University is set to launch an exhilarating new event designed to test the mettle of even the most devout...
End Times

Entire Congregation Has Beasts of Revelation Nightmares After Fiery End Times Sermon

A fiery End Times sermon left an entire congregation grappling with vivid nightmares of apocalyptic proportions this weekend. Pastor Elijah Hartsfield, known for his calm...
End Times

Signs Your Church Has an Apocalypse Obsession

1. The sermon illustrations use more beasts from Revelation than stories about Jesus. 2. Instead of a children's story, the kids get a “little horn”...
End Times

LA Adventist Preps Escape to Hollywood Hills for Time of Trouble

Harold Pendergast III, a prominent Los Angeles-based oral surgeon has announced to his local Adventist congregation that he isn’t just waiting around for the...
End Times

GC Recommends Extra Long Skirts for Maximum Modesty During Time of Trouble

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference sent out an urgent announcement today reminding members of the need for “maximum modesty throughout the Time...
End Times

Trump Claims US is Going to Hell, Adventists Respond: ‘We Told You So’

In a recent speech, former President Donald Trump claimed that the US is "going to hell", sparking a wave of responses from Adventists who...
End Times

Walking Dead writers confess to lifting plot twists from End Times-themed Sabbath School Quarterly

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. --- Writers for hit post-apocalyptic television series The Walking Dead have confessed to devouring this quarter's Adventist Sabbath School Lesson on the End Times...

BarelyAdventist is a satire and humor blog focused on Adventist culture and issues. Written by committed Adventists, the goal is to foster growth within the faith community through lighthearted conversation and humor, avoiding soapboxing or angry rants. The blog is not officially endorsed by the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists.

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