LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Eight-year-old Caleb Torres sent his parents into mild theological panic this weekend after announcing that “the Sunday laws have finally started.”
Upon investigation, his mom, Teresa, discovered that Caleb was actually referring to a list of Sunday chores she had taped to the refrigerator.
“I told him he needed to clean his room, take out the trash, and vacuum the living room,” Teresa explained. “Next thing I know, he’s in the backyard praying for strength to endure persecution.”
Caleb reportedly attempted to warn the neighborhood Pathfinder club, shouting that “the time of trouble is here” and “we must flee to the mountains—after lunch.”
Family sources confirm Caleb eventually complied with the “Sunday laws” once his parents clarified they were not, in fact, a fulfillment of prophecy.
“He said he’d obey,” said Teresa, “but only if we promised he wouldn’t have to do dishes during the Great Tribulation.”
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