#NotSatire
Are You a Homeless Adventist?
Not doctrinally. Not officially.
Just… practically.
You believe the message. You’re not trying to leave. But somewhere between the edges, you stopped feeling like you fully belong anywhere.
Too conservative for the...
#NotSatire
The Hymnal Knew Things Contemporary Worship Forgot
There’s a theological argument buried in the index of the Seventh-day Adventist Hymnal that contemporary worship music never bothered to have.
Not because the old...
#NotSatire
How Worried Should You be that Your Congregation isn’t Growing?
Look, let’s be real for a second. If your church has been the same twenty-seven faithful souls for the last decade, something’s off. Jesus...
#NotSatire
Silver Spring Is Not Heaven. Fortunately, That’s Not the Point.
If you’ve spent any time watching the General Conference operate, you’ve probably had the thought.
The politics. The procedural delays. The votes that feel like...
#NotSatire
Doubt Doesn’t Break Your Faith. Pretending Does.
Nobody leaves Adventism because they asked too many questions.
They leave because they asked questions—and got silence, sidelong glances, and a Sabbath School quarterly that...
#NotSatire
Prayer Is Not a Prescription. (God Made Therapists Too.)
Somewhere along the way we decided that struggling Christians just weren’t praying hard enough.
Depression? More devotions.Anxiety? Claim the victory.Trauma? Have you tried fasting?
We meant...
#NotSatire
The Resurrection Didn’t Need a Ham Dinner to Be Real
Every spring, Adventists perform a quiet liturgy of our own.
The rest of Christianity buys lilies and books brunch.
We… move on.
Sabbath School covers the quarterly....
#NotSatire
We Quote Paul’s Thorn. We Never Talk About Our Own.
Paul gets referenced a lot in Adventist circles. His missionary journeys, his theology, his letters that built half the New Testament. We love Paul.
We...
#NotSatire
You Can Love the Church and Still Demand Better From It
You Can Love the Church and Still Demand Better From It
Too often, Adventism mistakes loyalty for silence. Speak up about mistakes, question leadership, or...
#NotSatire
Study Reveals: Nobody Believes Pastor When He Says “In Conclusion” on Sabbath Morning
Study Reveals—A new Sabbath-morning study confirms that no Adventist anywhere believes a pastor when he says the words “in conclusion,” having learned through decades...
#NotSatire
When Life Drains You, This Is the Reminder You Actually Need
Let’s not sugarcoat it: some days, life feels like it’s siphoning energy straight out of your soul. Not just tired—soul-tired. You’ve rested, prayed, maybe...