Trump Eating Nothing But Haystacks To Boost Coronavirus Resistance

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Reporters at today’s White House press briefing were notified that President Donald Trump has taken to exclusively eating haystacks to boost his resistance to COVID-19 infection.

In conversation with Adventist cabinet member, Ben Carson, Trump had initially expressed interest in following an intense NEWSTART regimen to prevent infection.

When told about all that a NEWSTART program would require, Trump reportedly asked Carson if he had any simpler Adventist secrets to shoring up immunity.

Carson then gave Trump his personal haystacks recipe, saying that extra guac and sour cream could reveal the silver lining to any time of trouble.


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One comment

  1. Richard Mills

    Where in the world has been Ben Carson during this pandemic? He should have been in the forefront instead of Fauci. Come to mt church’s potluck and you’ll be cured of the covid19 virus. This is a real guarantee!!

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