Monday, June 23, 2025

Election

Adventist MAGA Supporter Delighted to Witness Second Coming

Local Adventist and fervent Trump supporter Walter "End Times" Johnson disrupted his local election night prayer vigil by declaring that the Second Coming had finally arrived during Trump's victory...

Historian Waxes Nostalgic About The Good Old White Days Of Adventism

In an uncomfortable turn of nostalgia, an Adventist historian recently found himself yearning for the days when "what the white man said was final." Leadership,...

How to Spot When an Adventist is Bragging

We Adventists like to at least appear humble. But once in a while some status signaling happens. You know an Adventist is bragging when...

Trump, Biden Commit To Singing “Kumbaya” Together At Start Of Next Debate

WASHINGTON, D.C. --- After the unmitigated disaster that was the first US Presidential Debate, both President Donald Trump and Former Vice President Joe Biden...

Joe Biden Touts Advanced Age In Attempt To Win Over Loma Linda Centenarians

Loma Linda, Calif. --- In an attempt to boost voter approval ratings in California, former US Vice President Joe Biden has been cruising around...