Adventist Town Gripped by Sunday Law Fears as Local Bakery Announces Sunday Closure

Hopeville, SDA – In news that has sent shivers down the spines of even the most seasoned doomsayers, Hopeville’s beloved “Heavenly Pastries” bakery announced its doors will be closed this coming Read more […]

OpenAI CEO Sam Altman Predicts ChatGPT Will Declare Sunday Law

Adventists around the globe are feeling a chill run down their spines after OpenAI CEO Sam Altman expressed his apprehensions during a recent Senate hearing about ChatGPT declaring Sunday Law. Altman Read more […]

GC: Uber Not Viable End Times Escape Plan

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference leadership of the church has warned members not to plan on booking an Uber to escape to the wilderness in the Time of Trouble. “Not only will Read more […]

GC Compliance Inspector Dispatched to Find Source of SCOTUS Leak

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Eager to lend a helping hand, the General Conference has dispatched a senior compliance inspector to the Supreme Court of the United States to pinpoint the source of this Read more […]

On eve of Iowa caucuses, Trump promises “YUGE” Sunday Law

IOWA CITY, Iowa — On the day before the Iowa caucuses, GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump is doing his best to appeal to voters who have been skeptical about his claims to be a Christian. Read more […]

Saturday Law declared in Collegedale, Tenn.

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — The Board of Commissioners for the City of Collegedale, Tenn. has passed a city-wide policy requiring all business and places of work to cease operations from Friday to Saturday Read more […]