Tag:
End Times
Sunday Law
Adventist Town Gripped by Sunday Law Fears as Local Bakery Announces Sunday Closure
Hopeville, SDA - In news that has sent shivers down the spines of even the most seasoned doomsayers, Hopeville's beloved "Heavenly Pastries" bakery announced...
Potluck
End Times Sermon Interrupted by Member Asking if Potluck is Still On
Pastor Bartholomew Thompson's sermon on the impending apocalypse took a dramatic nosedive this Sabbath, thanks to an unexpected inquiry from the congregation. As Thompson...
End Times
GC Recommends Extra Long Skirts for Maximum Modesty During Time of Trouble
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference sent out an urgent announcement today reminding members of the need for “maximum modesty throughout the Time...
Sunday Law
OpenAI CEO Sam Altman Predicts ChatGPT Will Declare Sunday Law
Adventists around the globe are feeling a chill run down their spines after OpenAI CEO Sam Altman expressed his apprehensions during a recent Senate...
Adventist Food
Adventists flee to wilderness with trailer of FriChik, forget can opener
BITTERROOT MOUNTAINS, Mont. --- A band of Adventists that fled to the Bitterroots range of the Rockies with a giant haul of FriChik has,...
Adventist Culture
Slide Show: What kind of Adventist are you?
Not many people outside of the denomination realize that Adventists come in all flavors and types. We're rainbow sherbet, not just raspberry sorbet (and yes, maybe we were a little hungry as we wrote this.) But no matter where you fall on the spectrum, everybody is welcome! (Note: There are sure to be more types than the ones presented here. Feel free to suggest more in the comments section.)
Prophesy
Saturday Law declared in Collegedale, Tenn.
COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. --- The Board of Commissioners for the City of Collegedale, Tenn. has passed a city-wide policy requiring all business and places of...