GC Compliance Inspector Dispatched to Find Source of SCOTUS Leak

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SILVER SPRING, Md. — Eager to lend a helping hand, the General Conference has dispatched a senior compliance inspector to the Supreme Court of the United States to pinpoint the source of this week’s high-profile leak.

The officer, known only by his alias “Level Eye,” has been known to sniff out coffee machines hidden in the dustiest, most forgotten of GC cabinets and is universally feared during Annual Council when he marches around Silver Spring malls, eager to find delegates who are skipping meetings to do some last-minute shopping before their flights home.

Level Eye has pledged to work tirelessly (outside Sabbath hours) until the source of the SCOTUS leak is brought to justice.

All he asks for in return is a solemn declaration from every justice that they will refrain from Sunday Law legislation.


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