BERKSHIRE, England — A Newbold Church committee meeting (still in session) has just set a Guinness Record for the longest meeting on record.
The committee was originally called to discuss a working bee but reports from exasperated committee members indicate that a small group of overly chatty individuals then hijacked the meeting with war stories of decades-old Sabbath flower displays gone wrong and unrelated church gossip absolutely nobody cares about.
Despite the best efforts of church staff to regain control of the agenda, the verbose and long-since-retired committee members have droned on and on.
“We’ve even warned that the Second Coming could come before the end of their stories but all we heard back was a warning that we should avoid ‘date setting,’” whispered church newsletter editor, Joe Escribo on Facebook Live, pleading for help from anyone still awake at 2:44 AM.
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