Adventist Dating Site Hacked – User Profiles Now Include ‘Second Coming Compatibility Scores’

The popular Adventist dating app “” has fallen victim to a cyberattack, resulting in the exposure of sensitive user information.  The breach, discovered last week, has left Read more […]

Evangelist Renews Annual Promise of Jesus’ Return Before Christmas

Local Preacher Brother Bartholomew Brightside has once again captured headlines with his bold pronouncement that Jesus Christ will be returning to Earth before Christmas. However, this year’s prediction Read more […]

Pastor In Love With Own Voice, Starting Podcast

The discouraging fact that Pastor Joseph Bleats of Droning Seventh-day Adventist church has a profound affection for the sound of his own voice became clearer than day last Sabbath. Bleats’, Read more […]

Walter Veith to Reveal Year of Second Coming at GC Session

ADVENTIST WORLD — The wait will soon be over for Walter Veith fans that need clarity on the approximate date of Christ’s Second Coming. The internet ministry personality promises to reveal Read more […]

General Conference bans church board meetings, claims they delay Second Coming

BREAKING NEWS SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists has banned local church board meetings across the denomination after its own biblical researchers blamed Read more […]

Walla Walla students pray for Second Coming “before Finals Week”

College Place, Wash. — Hundreds of Walla Walla University students huddled together this morning to pray for what students leaders called a “pre-Finals Week Second Coming.” Winter Quarter Read more […]

Slide Show: Things Adventists secretly hope to do before Jesus comes again

Adventists believe in the imminent return of Jesus. If you grew up Adventist, you believed Jesus could come at any moment, but like, it was REALLY SOON. Yeah, heaven is going to blow your mind with its beyond-your-comprehension-awesomeness — you can’t wait to wrestle with lions and/or have your own pet panda — but at some point, we bet these secret yearnings crossed your mind.