Adventist Pastor’s Attempt to Emulate Hulk Hogan’s RNC Shirt-Rip During Sermon Goes Horribly Wrong

In a misguided attempt to connect with younger churchgoers, Pastor Brock “The Rock” Johnson of Tumbleweed Seventh-day Adventist Church found himself in a precarious situation after trying to emulate Read more […]

Local Pastor’s Sermon on Patience Interrupted by Impatient Congregation

Pastor John Longwind’s sermon on the virtue of patience was cut short by his increasingly restless congregation at the “Tarry-a-While Seventh-day Adventist Church.” The sermon, aptly titled “Waiting Read more […]

Congregation Perks Up As Soon as Pastor Sheds Weekly Sermon Tears

Pastor Terry Aise, a man whose booming voice could rival a foghorn on a foggy day, roared into his third point. Flowing River SDA vibrated with the usual Sabbath symphony: creaking fans, the rhythmic Read more […]

Congregation Faces Existential Crisis as Pastor Transcends Noon Sermon Limit

Bumbleton, Iowa – December 28, 2023 – The devoted assembly at Uptite Seventh-day Adventist Church, celebrated for its unwavering programming precision and steadfast Sabbath rituals, was thrust Read more […]

God Wondering if Pastor Almost Done With Sermon

Pastor Perkins’ Sabbath sermon, a meandering odyssey through the Book of Numbers, had long ago passed the point of diminishing returns. Up in the heavens, God yawned. He’d heard this particular Read more […]

Congregation Sure Pastor Just Adlibbed Entire Sermon

Members of Windy Road SDA silently took to texting each other 35 minutes into their pastor’s sermon this Sabbath as it became painfully clear that he hadn’t done an ounce of prep for his remarks. Pastor Read more […]

Kid Optimistically Asks For Seventh Time if Sermon Almost Over

  At Droneville SDA young Timmy’s patience wore thin as the sermon dragged on for what felt like an eternity. Pastor Snoreworth’s droning was enough to test anyone’s resolve. Timmy Read more […]

Pastor In Love With Own Voice, Starting Podcast

The discouraging fact that Pastor Joseph Bleats of Droning Seventh-day Adventist church has a profound affection for the sound of his own voice became clearer than day last Sabbath. Bleats’, Read more […]

Congregation Wishes Overconfident Pastor Would Go Back to Using Sermon Notes

In an annoying display of pastoral self-assuredness, Pastor William “Windy” Williams of the Free Grace Adventist Church has proudly announced that he no longer needs to rely on sermon notes. While Read more […]