Congregation Wishes Overconfident Pastor Would Go Back to Using Sermon Notes

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In an annoying display of pastoral self-assuredness, Pastor William “Windy” Williams of the Free Grace Adventist Church has proudly announced that he no longer needs to rely on sermon notes. While he may believe it’s a leap of faith, his congregation is secretly yearning for the days when his sermons were a tad more coherent.

“We used to follow along with his sermons like a well-mapped road,” sighed one congregant. “Now, it feels more like a wild roller coaster ride through the Bible, with no clear destination in sight.”

Pastor Windy’s recent sermons have also been described as meandering odysseys through scripture, filled with sudden detours into tangential anecdotes, extended metaphors, and bewildering Ellen White quotes taken wildly out of context.

“It’s like he’s on a spiritual journey without GPS,” exclaimed another churchgoer. “He’s all over the place.”

While Pastor Windy may boast that his “spirit-led” approach allows him to connect with the congregation on a more authentic level, some members suspect that his frequent digressions are merely a clever ploy to avoid having to actually prepare his Sabbath remarks.


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