Congregation Wishes Overconfident Pastor Would Go Back to Using Sermon Notes

In an annoying display of pastoral self-assuredness, Pastor William “Windy” Williams of the Free Grace Adventist Church has proudly announced that he no longer needs to rely on sermon notes. While Read more […]

Name Of Orienteering Pathfinder Honor Changed To “Use GPS”

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Orienteering Pathfinder honor that used to involve a bunch of complicated wilderness compass and map reading, has now been updated. The new honor is called “Use Read more […]

Confirmed: Israelites wandered for 40 years because they didn’t have Pathfinders

SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a statement released this morning, the General Conference headquarters of the Adventist Church claimed the Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years because Read more […]

Lindsay Lohan finds Mean Girls 2 inspiration from Adventist Church cliques

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Lindsay Lohan says that she found the inspiration for the Mean Girls 2 movie that she wants to make from studying cliques at Adventist churches. Having heard that the Read more […]

Slide Show: If popular TV shows were Adventist…

BarelyAdventist re-imagines what popular TV shows would be like if they had Adventism in mind.