Adventist Sues Rolex After Missing Friday Sundown Due to Slow Watch

A devout Seventh-Day Adventist has taken legal action against luxury watchmaker Rolex, alleging that their slow timepiece caused them to miss the sacred Friday sundown deadline. The plaintiff, Read more […]

Congregation Faces Existential Crisis as Pastor Transcends Noon Sermon Limit

Bumbleton, Iowa – December 28, 2023 – The devoted assembly at Uptite Seventh-day Adventist Church, celebrated for its unwavering programming precision and steadfast Sabbath rituals, was thrust Read more […]