Adventist Sues Rolex After Missing Friday Sundown Due to Slow Watch

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A devout Seventh-Day Adventist has taken legal action against luxury watchmaker Rolex, alleging that their slow timepiece caused them to miss the sacred Friday sundown deadline. The plaintiff, known for their meticulous Sabbath observance, claims that the sluggish performance of their Rolex watch led to a violation of religious obligations, emotional distress and “unintentional lentil loaf preparation after sunset.”

According to sources close to the plaintiff, the Adventist had meticulously planned their day, ensuring that all activities would be completed well before sunset on Friday. However, as the appointed hour approached, they were dismayed to discover that their Rolex watch was running several minutes behind schedule.

Frantically attempting to adjust the time, the Adventist watched in horror as the sun dipped below the horizon, signaling the beginning of the Sabbath. Unable to commence their religious observance on time, they were left grappling with feelings of guilt and frustration, particularly with the half-baked lentil loaf still in the oven.

Representatives from Rolex have expressed surprise at the lawsuit, maintaining that their timepieces are renowned for their precision and reliability. “We’re pretty sure the Seventh-Day Adventist in question had consulted a faulty sunset calendar,” said the watchmaker.


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